


The New Normal

by Nonsensewords85



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuckolding, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gender or Sex Swap, Kink Negotiation, Masturbation, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-04-21 00:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonsensewords85/pseuds/Nonsensewords85
Summary: After the final battle with DeVoe, Ralph's meddling with the villain's chair causes an explosion and Barry and Caitlin end up in each other's bodies. Unable to find a way back they need to get used to their new normal.





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> This story includes a body swap between two characters. After the first scene pronouns and gender references will match the character's mind not their physical sex. So you'll see phrases like her cock and his breasts.
> 
> Canon through when Marlize DeVoe leaves at the end of the season finale and contains series details up to that point. Goes AU after that. AU elements are: 1) Harry regains his full intelligence; 2) Iris went back to work at the paper; 3) Cecile hasn't had her child yet, what happened during the season finale was false labor; and 4) Nora doesn't show up.
> 
> A/N 9/23/2018: I've edited the chapters that I had previously posted slightly to adjust for events in between episode 4x13 and the season finale. I've also split the chapters up into smaller chapters. Where there were 4 now there are 7. I've added an end note that details the changes in case you don't want to read the chapters again. The adjustments are minor.

Iris West-Allen was having a shitty day. She preferred not to complain and especially not to wallow in the negative, lord knew she’d done of enough of that to last several lifetimes when she’d thought she was destined to die and her husband had disappeared into some quantum space thing after saving her, but at this minute as she stood in front of the entrance to the loft apartment she shared with her husband while trying to balance her luggage so nothing fell and still locate her fucking keys which had shifted from their usual spot to be lost in her overstuffed bag during the flight from hell, she allowed herself the moment. She was so close to making it across the threshold, placing her heavy as hell bags down and collapsing on her comfortable couch and finally having a minute to just sit and rest. She loved her job she really did, but flying to two continents in as many days to cover a story was exhausting on the best of days. The fact that she’d be stymied at just about every turn, and had suffered more than a few demeaning and lewd comments, in her pursuit of the proof of political corruption she needed to finalize this article really was not helping. And the one lead she’d manage to scrounge up lead to a last minute flight change to another continent only to find she was too late and the source had disappeared for the states. So she’d flown back to Central City with nothing to show, exhausted and frustrated, desperate for the peaceful silence of sleep. But her coach seat and fellow passengers hadn’t afforded her even that luxury. And she had a looming deadline. But that was an issue for tomorrow. Right now the issue at hand was to find her stupid keys so this day could finally end.

It took several more minutes of desperate searching, and her carry-on tumbling off of where she’d rested it on the stupid rolling bag Barry had gotten her to make trips like this one more convenient, but finally her searching fingers clutched around the cool metal of the key ring. Mumbling under her breath she pulled the keys free, and in the process sent a loose chapstick flying from her purse and onto the floor. Where it stayed as she shoved keys into the door, turned it with more force than necessary, shoved the door open and pushed her way into her apartment with as much force as she could muster all the while desperately trying to bring her rolling luggage, the stupid carry-on and her purse with her. The water was running, which either meant an expensive issue the plumber would have to fix or Barry was home. Which meant she wouldn’t get the rest she craved. But she could get something else from him that would help her relieve the stress coursing through her just as well.

“Barry, I’m home,” she shouted hoping that her loving and wiry husband would shut the damn water off and come give her a hand. “I could use a hand with the bags.” Normally the request would be met with a blur of motion, a heated kiss, her bags safely in the bedroom and her in his loving arms for a much slower and more passionate kiss. But nothing happened. Great with the way her day had been going probably the faucet in the bathroom was broken and she’d have to pay for hours of wasted water. Or Barry had to fight evil in the middle of a shower and left the damn water running. Again. Well screw it, she wasn’t going to wait any longer so she continued on her way to the bedroom dragging the clothes with her.

She made it halfway across the living room before tripping on something, sending her sprawling with a startled yelp. And ended with her not in her loving husband’s arms but sprawled out on the floor, her knees and arms aching from where they’d struck the floor to break her fall. A strong flash of annoyance surged through her. Whatever he was doing in the bathroom had better be damn important if he couldn’t even be bothered to fucking catch her.

He came bursting out of the bedroom, moving at regular speed she noted, after she had finished picking herself off the ground. Her ire built as she surveyed the damage and the culprit. Her carry-on had slid halfway across the wooden floor and come to a rest under the kitchen table. Her purse hadn’t slid far, but its contents were scattered over the floor around her. And the rolling bag had fallen with enough force to crack the stupid plastic making up the handle. And the culprit was a fucking shoe he’d left in the middle of the damn room. She was gone for a few days and he turned into a fucking slob. Fuming, she scooped to pick up the shoe as he ran over to her, still at the speed a regular human would. 

“What the hell Barry?” she demanded, waving the proof of his carelessness in his face. “I’m gone for a few days and you forget I live here too? How many times do I have to tell you to that you need to put away your damn shoes before you speed off even-”. Her voice shut off as her brain finally caught up to her eyes and a detail about the shoe finally surfaced. 

It was a woman’s shoe.

Two things happened in that moment. The water shut off and Iris took a good look at her husband. He was shirtless and she was able to see quite clearly that while there was some small perspiration dotting his well sculpted torso, he was otherwise dry. Which meant he had not been taking a shower. And the fact that not even a slight breeze stirred in their apartment when the water shut off meant he hadn’t sped over there to take care of it. So there was someone else here. A fact that a topless Caitlin Snow rushing out of the bedroom, trailing water behind her, confirmed.

In that moment Iris was sure she must finally understand what having super speed was like. It was as if time stopped as her brain flew at a delirious pace. Her gaze quickly took in every curve and contour of Barry’s sculpted chest, which his meta physiology was directly responsible for. She knew his body well and those delightful muscles surged as he tensed at the scene playing out in their apartment. And in that same instant her eyes flicked to her friend, whom she’d never imagined she’d be able to see in this state. Iris took in the beautiful pale skin, the way Caitlin’s wet hair clung against the scientist’s neck and trailed down to run in thin strands over her bare chest. And what a chest it was. Caitlin’s tits were some of the nicest Iris had ever seen. There was a paleness to them that suggested Caitlin had never tanned in the buff. But that colour provided a wonderful contrast to the darkness of the aureole topping Caitlin’s prominent nipples.

As Caitlin exclaimed Iris’s name, and Barry turned to look at their friend Iris continued to process the scene before her. Her agile mind came up with a conclusion quickly. Her husband alone and half naked with their gorgeous friend who was half naked and clad only in a towel. And clearly comfortable enough to run out into the living room without covering up.

Iris knew she should be furious. That another woman would have grabbed a kitchen knife and put an end to both of them right there and then. And no court would have convicted her. To have her husband break his vows with one of her dearest friends, which incidentally was also the woman she had the worst crush on and more than a few intensely naughty thoughts regarding over the years, should have been the final straw today. Rage should have coursed through her, causing her muscles to tense and bunch until it finally spilled out in a seemingly endless torrent as she proved just how good she was with words and ripped them to shreds with her deft tongue. Shame and sorrow would have also been fairly common reactions, perhaps triggered by perceived failings on her part leading Barry to his choices..

But no. Not for Iris West-Allen. As she stood, body aching and bruises forming, in the middle of her home, confronted with the possibility of her husband’s hands and lips trailing over the skin of another woman she didn’t feel rage or shame coursing through her. She felt only desire. And lust. And need. 

Her body stiffened, tensing not from anger but from the arousal coursing through her as the image of Barry fucking Caitlin formed in her mind. She could feel her body reacting, her nipples hardening. And G-d was she getting wet. The images kept playing inside her mind and she could only pray the other two wouldn’t notice as her breathing picked up and her pupils dilated. While she shared much with Barry this was one secret she intended to keep. 

While Iris struggled through her own reaction. Caitlin and Barry were having their own. Iris watched as Caitlin moved towards her, rushing as fast as Iris had ever seen the girl move to cross the space between them. She heard her name uttered in panic from Caitlin’s lips again and then she was encircled in the other girl’s arms. The feel of those surprisingly strong arms wrapping around her, dully she noted all that training Caitlin had been doing as Killer Frost with Barry must have been paying off, did nothing to help Iris’s predicament. Neither did the knowledge that Caitlin’s beautiful tits were pressing against her. All Iris would have to do would be to lower her head or raise her hands and she could feel them the way she had always wanted to. And then Barry could pull Caitlin’s remaining clothes off, before demanding that Iris watch as he stuck his cock into the no doubt tight little pussy of their scientist friend. Caitlin would moan loudly into Iris’s ear as Barry’s cock stretched her pretty white pussy. The stray thought set off a pulse of pure need inside Iris. Her inner walls contracted at the image. G-d she was not going to make it through this night with her secret intact. 

The trill of fear that accompanied that thought brought her out of her daze. Which was good timing as she wouldn’t have wanted to miss what came next. Which was a whispered “I missed you so much baby,” followed by Caitlin’s lips pressing against hers. Caitlin fucking Snow was kissing her and Iris was good with that. She loved Barry but G-d did she miss the feel of a woman’s lips on hers. Only Caitlin didn’t really kiss like any other woman Iris had kissed over the years. In fact Caitlin’s kiss bore a striking resemblance to…

“Barry?” Iris asked, pulling away from the panting woman. Before Iris could get an answer though, Barry made his presence known.

“Barry! Could you please put a shirt on? You can’t just go around topless! She’ll be fine it was just a fall,” he said. And though it was Barry’s voice, Iris knew that tone well and it wasn’t his.

As the two women disentangled, Barry, or maybe just his body, continued talking. “If you got all of that coffee off my body go and get dry and put some clothes on. I’ll explain everything to Iris.”

And as Caitlin Snow sheepishly walked back to the bathroom, he called out “And don’t you dare look in the mirror. Or down!”

With no such instruction directed at her Iris took the opportunity to stare at the towel covered ass of the other woman.

“Okay. First, what you saw wasn’t what it looked like. I’m not sleeping with your husband. I wouldn’t do that with Barry. I mean not that there’s anything wrong with him. I mean he’s not ugly he’s really quite handsome but it’s not that I still have a crush-” Barry babbled.

Well if ever Iris had any doubts, the stream of babble that erupted from her husband’s face erased them. There was only one beautiful genius in Central City she knew who could become so deliciously flustered. With a soft smile, Iris crossed the short distance to her friend and placed a gentle hand on Caitlin’s now muscled shoulder.

“It’s okay Caitlin. I know what you mean and I’m not offended. So I’m assuming your being here half naked and my husband being here naked has something to do with the body swap that must have happened while I was away and not you two having an affair,” Iris said. Upon seeing her friend start to relax and take a deep breath in order to no doubt fill her in, a mischievous smirk made its way onto Iris’s face and she continued. “Well unless you two decided to try and spice it up a little and see how it feels from the other side while you had the chance. Which I’m not sure I could blame you for.”

Caitlin froze, her face breaking into an expression of pure shock. Which looked odd to Iris on Barry’s face as it was a so very Caitlin expression. In that look she could see her friend, and long time crush, even behind her husband’s face.

“Okay well I’ve had my fun,” Iris said, in a characteristic expression of kindness towards the other girl. “Let’s sit down and you can tell me everything. Unless you’d rather put a shirt on yourself.”

Iris wasn’t able to stop her smile as realization dawned on the other girl. With a quick look down and a mild eep Caitlin moved to run back to the bedroom. Which if Iris was lucky would end in Caitlin’s borrowed body colliding with Caitlin’s regular one, the image of Barry and Caitlin entangled resurfacing along with the desire it caused. On a whim Iris reached forward, arresting the other girl’s movement. As Caitlin’s eyes searched hers, Iris leaned forward and resting one of her hands against Caitlin’s bare chest, brought their lips together. The kiss lasted not quite as long as Iris wanted but long enough for her to wrest a moan of pleasure from Caitlin.

“Wha…what was that for,” Caitlin stammered once Iris pulled away.

Meeting her friend’s gaze Iris smiled deeply.

“It only seemed fair,” she said. At Caitlin’s puzzled expression, Iris continued. “After all I got to see what kissing you was like. Figured I should return the favor.”

With a bemused, slightly guilty expression and a few mumbles that sounded suspiciously like “Barry’s a lucky man” Caitlin went to get dressed. Iris smiled, before falling flat on her couch and covering her earnest grin with the first pillow she laid hands on. A deliciously naughty thought wormed its way through her. Maybe this was the opportunity to have something she’d never thought possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I'm sure you have figured out I write pretty sporadically. I'm still chugging away on this and I've got a few more short chapters like this one that will probably be ready soon. I'm also realizing that my current writing style is more episodic so I'm considering changing this from a long story into a series of shorter stories. Let me know if you have any thoughts on that.

When Barry and Caitlin finished their explanation, which involved an almost intolerable amount of blushing and all too cute flustered rambling towards the end, Iris let the silence build. She knew it was a bit mean and from the look on her husband and friend’s faces there was little doubt both of the adorable nerds were panicking at how she would react. In truth she was trying with every fiber of her being to hold it together and not collapse into a mess of giggles like the small child she had been when she and Barry had first lived together.

In the end she failed. Her stern mask fell and her entire body shook as she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. In between the chuckles rocking her body and the tears forming in the corner of her eyes she could see Barry and Caitlin exchange glances. No doubt they were worried for her sanity. When the last rumble of laughter had ceased, just for the moment she was sure, she tried to get back to the matter at hand.

“So let me get this straight. During the few days I was gone, flying all over the world trying to track down leads for the expose I’m writing on the meta slavery ring you, Barry, discovered while you were in prison and the corruption in Central City and other governments that makes it possible, you let Ralph poke around with DeVoe’s chair. And while Ralph managed to get away scott free, you two, seasoned crime fighters that you are managed to trip and accidently get caught in the blast when DeVoe’s machine exploded? And when you woke up you had swapped your bodies?” As she continued recapping the absurdity that had occurred while she was away she felt her composure slip away again. A grin cracked through the serious tone she’d been trying to maintain. “So now my handsome husband is in fact a gorgeous woman.”

“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough,” Barry said, the accompanying scrunching look slightly out of place on Caitlin’s face, and heightening the sense of the absurd that pervaded Iris.

“No. I definitely am taking this with just the right amount of seriousness,” Iris replied with great amusement. “Oh come on, you have to admit this is hilarious. And Caitlin’s sure that there’s no negative side effects or anything else to worry about. Right?”

“Right,” Caitlin confirmed. “Though I can’t promise you won’t be a widow if Barry doesn’t remember to wrap the towel all the way around my body next time.”

“Fair enough,” Iris chuckled and met the sardonic look of Caitlin’s with a sultry smile that caused her friend to blush. Turning back to Barry Iris continued, “So yes Barry I think this the funniest thing I have heard in ages. And you can’t tell me that it’s not hilarious, and completely deserved, that while trying to prove to a girl with a lifetime of experience that high heels are easy to walk in, you trip and knock a whole tray of hot coffee all over yourself at Jitters.”

“Which he then freezes on reflex,” Caitlin added.

“Right. And because you have no control of Caitlin’s powers you also freeze all of the drinks nearby before going full Killer Frost,”

“After lecturing me on how difficult his power would be to control,” Caitlin chimed in, looking smug. “Though it’s good to know that she’s still in there.”

“Right. Mansplaining it sounds like. Cause after all it’s not like you’re a cutting edge biologist and the leading expert on meta-physiology,” Iris said with a wink to her friend. “And to save Barry from outing himself as Killer Frost, you Caitlin grab him and speed to star labs. Only you,” now Iris turned to Caitlin, “went too fast and managed to vaporize both of your clothes, except the high heels, while running at super speed and so you when you get there Cisco and Harry get an eye full. And you realize you’re holding a gorgeous and very naked woman in your arms, so little Caitlin stands up-” At this point Iris broke off as she could no longer contain her laughter again. When she had just about collected herself, a blushing Caitlin refused to meet her gaze.

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that,” Caitlin mumbled.

“Naked?” Iris asked.

“I think she means gorgeous,” Barry chimed in, grateful that now he was no longer the center of the mocking.

“Call them like I see ‘em,” Iris responded quickly, flashing Caitlin a lascivious smile. Barry rolled his eyes at her antics. In all the years he’d known her his wife was a terrible flirt. Given how hard she came on, he really wasn’t surprised she had better luck with men than women. “So while Cisco was picking his jaw up off the floor, you ran the two of you back here out of panic. And through all of this the frozen coffee on Barry melted and left him a sticky mess so while he took a shower you tried to find something to wear? And because he’s a slob he left the shoe in the middle of the floor.”

“Actually that was my fault,” Caitlin sheepishly responded.

“What he couldn’t take off his own shoes?” Iris asked. At the looks the two of them exchanged Iris began laughing again. “Oh G-d. He couldn’t could he?”

“Okay so I misjudged how hard they would be to get off. And given that Caitlin wouldn’t let me look down I had to do it by touch,” Barry whined in his own defense.

“Hey mister just because you’re in my body does not give you the right to ogle the goods,” Caitlin responded curtly, which sent Iris into another fit of giggles.

  
“Omg. So you’re both naked and what you had to kneel in front of him to get his shoes off? That is priceless.” 

“You are enjoying this entirely too much,” Barry observed.

“You my love are just entirely too close to this to see how brilliantly funny it all is,” Iris replied, leaning towards Barry on the couch, her lips reaching for his.

The distinct sound of a faked throat clearing ruined the cute domestic moment. A look of guilt flitted over Iris’s face, which thankfully Caitlin couldn’t see from the angle she was sitting. Barry on the other hand did see and rolled his eyes at her, fully aware of what she’d been trying to do and that she had been caught.

“Hands and lips to yourself West,” Caitlin said, her eyes wide.

“What I can’t kiss my loving husband?”

“Not when he’s in my body you certainly can’t.”

“Fine. Guess I should stick to kissing his body then,” Iris said with a sly smile, still facing Barry. His grimace and silent mouthing of the words ‘thirsty much’ suggested she was coming on too strong. Which was a fair point. It wasn’t like she was trying to make Caitlin uncomfortable, or even really seduce her friend. But if it happened… okay so she was still a bit turned on from before and wasn’t doing a great job of hiding it. And it wasn’t like she got a chance to make a play for Caitlin every day. But maybe she could play it off as just a joke among friends. At least for Caitlin, because the look on Barry’s face made it clear he knew.

“Not while I’m in it!” Caitlin shouted, looking scandalized.

Doing her best to conceal her hurt and disappointment behind the mask of a soft smile Iris turned back to Caitlin, doing her best to convey the lie that there was no truth to her comments. Luckily Barry came to her rescue by chuckling slightly at her and Caitlin’s antics and in response Caitlin huffed adorably, clearly positive that she was now the butt of the jokes that had been directed at Barry earlier. Turning halfway back to her husband Iris gave him a real smile, thankful for the assistance in salvaging her dignity. Apparently the love and adoration must have been evident from her posture because Caitlin loudly groaned from her position on the other side of the couch.

“I’m going to have to chaperone you two until we swap back aren’t I?” Caitlin asked.

“Probably a good idea,” Barry laughed.

At that moment Caitlin’s new stomach let is presence be known, a loud gurgling emitting from it.

“Dammit Barry. Your body is ridiculous!” the normally reserved scientist shouted. “I just ate an hour ago.”

“On the plus side though you can eat anything you want,” he responded with a shrug. “I have to watch my calories now.”

Taking pity on the poor scientist who was clearly starving, Iris swatted Barry lightly to get him to stop talking before he made Caitlin anxious about him ruining her figure while borrowing her body.

“Ignore him. You should go and grab yourself something to eat,” Iris said. And in reply to Caitlin’s skeptical look she continued, “We’ll behave ourselves. No eating until dinner and only light snuggling.”

“Fine, I’ll trust you. This time,” Caitlin said, a small smile pulling at her lips. “I’m going to get food then I’m going to the lab. Don’t worry Iris we’ll fix this.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another short chapter.

Chapter 3

After Caitlin left Iris refused to talk any further until after a nap. A point she made by sprawling out across the sofa, her head in Barry’s soft lap, shutting her eyes and not responding to Barry’s questions regarding her trip. Instead she just mumbled later as best she could and let her mind wander as the last of the energy she had drained out from her. In the twilight between wakefulness and sleep her mind slowly pondered the events of the evening.

She wasn’t surprised that she could barely move. She had been exhausted before even crossing the threshold of their door. It was a small wonder that she’d been able to be even slightly present for the conversation with Barry and Caitlin. The fall combined with seeing Barry and Catlin in what she thought had been a compromising position had caused her adrenaline to start pumping, though for very different reasons. That surge of energy had carried her through the initial absurdity of the situation and even allowed her to enjoy the absurdity of the story they’d spun. But that energy was borrowed and all too soon the debt needed to be paid. During the explanation Barry and Caitlin had provided, Iris had felt more and more of that brief burst of energy drain from her. By the time Caitlin had left Iris felt she was running on fumes. 

She knew Barry wanted to talk. She wanted to talk too. Sharing her struggles with him was what they both signed up for. And boy did she have struggles to share. Frustrated, harassed and useless were the three words that best described her emotional state following her trip. And then she’d walked into her living room and proved it all over by clumsily falling over a shoe. A fucking shoe. So yes she wanted to tell her loving, supportive husband about it all. To watch his face twist in sympathy and wait for a stupid joke to make her feel better.

But she couldn’t just then. It was raw and she couldn’t form words anyway. And also those emotions weren’t the most vivid for her anymore. What she really should be sharing with him is what happened after. The way seeing them had made her feel. Why she had been pursuing someone that wasn’t exactly him so aggressively. Why she wanted and needed to feel him in Caitlin’s body.

But she wouldn’t, couldn’t. Really she had never intended to share that with him. He knew some of it because he’d known her forever. He had been there when she first figured out that she liked girls as much as boys. He’d watched her nervous and incompetent fumbling with the pretty girls around them and the numerous ensuing strikeouts. He’d been there for late night conversations about which girl had the most kissable lips, and while now she knew he really thought it was hers, at the time they’d both shared their desires for Emily Cole, the pretty brunette they’d shared classes with ever since elementary school. Unfortunately for Barry, Iris had sealed that deal. Several times in fact, before Emily decided she’d had enough experimenting and started dating a quarterback. 

And Barry knew about Caitlin. They’d never straight on discussed it but he knew Iris and Iris was sure she wasn’t any more subtle about how she felt for her friend than she was about any other crush she’d ever had. Stolen glances and warm smiles always gave her away.

And because she wasn’t stupid she knew Barry hid a similar secret regarding Caitlin. He may have matured in many respects but he was no better at hiding his feelings from her than he was when they were younger. Like how jealous he was when Emily had chosen her, though to be fair she hadn’t realized that he was just as jealous of Emily as he’d been of her. Which was a major way in which they were different, and why she couldn’t tell him.

Because she had never been jealous when Barry had been with other women. She’d been happy when he and Linda had started dating. And disappointed when they’d suddenly broken up. And Patty, well seeing them together and imagining what she hadn’t been present to see had gotten her through many a lonely night after she’d lost Eddie. And when Eddie had still been alive, Iris had hoped that Barry and Caitlin would find their way into each other’s arms. But then Ronnie came back, however briefly, and Barry and Caitlin never seemed to go anywhere. Not that, that inconvenient fact had ever stopped Iris’s imagination and she’d enjoyed the thought of the two of them together more times then she’d ever admit over the years. 

Because as much as Barry knew about Iris, she had a few secrets of her own. Private thoughts and feelings that she never wanted to share. It was only fair. He’d kept his desires to himself too for a long time, though his love for her and her kink weren’t the same. If anything his steadfast love for her made her secret desires worse. Knowing he was so devoted in his affection to her that he could draw physical pleasure from the fulfillment of her needs made her desires that much crueler. In the end, faced with his loving gaze her desires made her feel only shame. Like an unfeeling and broken monster. In a moment of self pity she’d almost confessed her shame to Mick Rory of all people, because surely he could appreciate what a selfish monster she was. 

Which wasn’t fair to herself. Iris was old enough and experienced enough to know that just because she was drawn to something that she didn’t have to act on it. And that even acting on it didn’t mean she didn’t love Barry. That the desires she felt weren’t wrong or twisted and might very well root in some part of her that she was misunderstanding.

 But it still felt wrong to want this. To want to watch him with someone other than her. To watch the firm lean body that brought her such pleasure and made her feel so loved do the same to another person. But she couldn’t help it. The mere thought sent delicious shivers down her nerves. She imagined it often, the way his muscles must look under the strain of fucking someone else. How that woman’s mouth would look against his ears, teeth nibbling on an earlobe. Even the way their skin would look next to each other. It was always easier and more tempting when she was able to give him a partner she could visualize as well. And the ultimate sensation came from picturing him with those few she felt strong attractions to. And Caitlin had long been Barry’s co-star in such fantasies for that reason.

But because it felt wrong she would always indulge in the thoughts in private, and never during their shared self pleasure sessions or when he might over hear, in case she forgot herself and verbalized what she was imagining. When he’d ask her if there was anything she wanted to try and she listed the different ideas that tickled her fancy she always omitted it. She came up with excuses not to share. It didn’t matter. They were monogamous. It was only the fantasy she’d enjoy not the reality.

Walking in on Barry and Caitlin today seemed to put the lie to that though. Because the honest, unfiltered thought that Barry had just finished fucking Caitlin had filled her with a desperate need, made worse by the fact that she’d suppressed that image for so long. She hadn’t wanted to stop them or felt hurt. She had desperately needed to see it, to watch them. To run her tongue through the proof of their congress and taste them both mixing together.

Her last coherent thought was that maybe something needed to change.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

Iris wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, or even that she did fall asleep. The last thing she clearly remembered was once again deciding that she should just be content with what she had. And the next coherent thing she experienced was a deeply delicious smell. There was some scattered scraps of memories in-between. But as she rubbed at her eyes, and tried to gather the strength to open them, she was sure those had to be dreams. Or at least fragments of them. She hadn’t gotten married to Caitlin, which was the only reason she could think she’d be kissing the other woman on a beach while wearing a wedding dress. She also was pretty sure if that happened Barry wouldn’t be officiating from atop a suit wearing horse.

The smells however were easier to place and were fairly grounding. There was the smell of garlic sweating in hot oil, one of her favorite scents and, thankfully, one of Barry’s go to techniques in the kitchen. She also smelled a hint of rosemary. The smells made it impossible to fall back asleep, and as she woke up further she felt the desire to lessen. She did however, feel an almost intense need to take a shower, the grime of an entire day’s worth of travel combining with the sweat that collected on her skin from falling asleep in the living room fully clothed to leave her feeling like less of a person.

Sitting up and groaning, Iris forced her eyes open and tried to push past the pain from the brightness of the room.

“Dinnertime?” She asked.

“Close,” he replied from their kitchen, though something sounded off about his voice. For a second Iris tried to pin down what it was before deciding she wasn’t awake enough for it and focusing on the follow up question her husband called out to her. “Quesadillas alright?”

The question combined with the smells wafting out of their kitchen had her stomach rumbling loud enough to compete with Caitlin’s earlier noises.

“Steak and Colby-Jack?” she called back, her mouth beginning to water.

“With a garlic rosemary crusted shell,” he responded, causing her to let out a soft moan of appreciation. Which, based on the chuckle that she heard next, he must have clearly heard.

“Sounds perfect,” she called back, rising from the coach and padding towards the kitchen, intent on stealing a hug and possibly a kiss, depending on how bad her breath was, before going to clean up before dinner. “Just like you,” she continued as she entered the kitchen where the sight that greeted her caused her to pause.

Instead of the broad, leanly muscled back of the man she loved, there was a petite white girl working merrily away in her kitchen. Gears clicked in her head as she tried to sort through the fragments of memory and dream that still lingered. Everything from earlier in the day seemed much foggier, the unfortunate side effect of the sleep deprivation that was her souvenir from her trip. When she tried to grip anything from before her nap it seemed to slip away. When the other woman turned and Iris saw it was her friend Caitlin Snow, another piece clicked into place. Not Caitlin. Barry in Caitlin’s body she remembered.

At her no doubt vacant look the woman standing in Iris’s kitchen chuckled.

“You must have been pretty exhausted huh? How much do you remember?”

“You’re in Caitlin’s body right?” Iris asked, the statement feeling true even though common sense told her that part had to be a dream. A dream that was a warped byproduct of her subconscious desire for Caitlin, no doubt. “Caitlin’s not standing in my kitchen making me dinner?”

“Correct on both counts. It’s me, Barry.”

“Okay,” Iris said blinking, trying to accept the weirdness of it all. “By-product of DeVoe’s chair exploding?” At his nod she continued trying to list the things she was thinking of as possible memories. “You and Caitlin having an affair?”

“Misunderstanding,” he replied.

“Okay. Caitlin kissing me while topless?”

“Me in Caitlin’s body. I sorta freaked when I saw you lying hurt on the floor and reacted without thinking.”

“Me kissing you?”

“Well, Caitlin’s in my body and if you kissed her I didn’t see it.”

“You don’t sound bothered by the prospect,” she said wryly.

“I mean technically it’s my body so I guess you’re good,” his quick shrug tugged an amused chuckle from her. “I mean if my mind being in Caitlin’s body is fair game the reverse is probably true.”

She rolled her eyes at that. Trust Barry to be too busy nerding out to worry about whether she had technically cheated on him. Smiling at him lovingly she leaned on the counter of their breakfast nook and ran through the remaining unaccounted for memories.

“My marrying Caitlin?”

“Yeah that didn’t happen.”

“A horse wearing a suit.”

“Pretty sure that was also a dream.”

“Okay. How long till dinner’s ready?” she asked, pushing herself up with her elbows.

“About eight to ten minutes. The steak needs to rest for a bit and then I’ll fry the shells and melt the cheese.”

“Great. I’m gonna grab a shower, try and get some of this travel grime off me. Want to join?”

“Love to, but pretty sure the actual Caitlin would kill me,” he laughed deeply. “And we promised to keep it pg.”

“Your loss,” she threw back, smirking as she walked, making sure to put a little shake in her hips.

Truthfully she was more than a little disappointed that Barry didn’t take her up on her offer. But even in her exhausted state she had been pretty sure he wouldn’t. Also without Caitlin’s consent, she knew she wouldn’t have gone through with it even if he’d been somehow willing. But she still wanted him right now.

It was more than just about sex. She wanted to be with him, to be reminded of being cared for so deeply that words were insufficient. The only way she knew to communicate that level of caring were desperate touches stolen in any spare minute, regardless of oil burning in a pan or the steak cooling to ice on the counter. But she’d have to be satisfied at the conflicted look he’d given her and the knowledge that he was tempted to take her even when in a body not his own.

The water ran as she thought, the temperature of the stream slowly increasing. When steam started to escape from beyond its borders to spill into the rest of the bathroom she stepped under it, careful to keep her hair out of the way. She didn’t have time to wash it properly or dry it. She’d do so later that evening, but she’d be damned if she was going to remain caked in the day’s grim for even a moment longer. Instead of her normal soap she reached for the bottle of body wash Barry used. It was perfect for his sensitive skin, free of the chemically created scents and dyes, that if applied too often turned that pale complexion of his she loved an angry red and robbed his soft supple skin of the moisture it needed to remain that way. It occurred that she’d need to warn Caitlin about that.

And it was prefect for her tonight. The liquid was silky and thick. She applied it liberally, taking advantage of the little time she had. First the arms, quickly as they were an after thought. She spent more time on her shoulders and neck, doing her best to rub out the stiffness that had taken root there. Her hands slid over her torso, spreading the liquid as they went. She bit back a quiet moan at the pleasure that shot through her when her hands glided over her breasts. Clearly she was still hypersensitive. Despite the warmth of the water her nipples hardened as she thought of just why that might be. Shaking the image of Caitlin and Barry sharing this very shower, of Caitlin sinking to her knees to take Barry’s cock into her mouth, though Iris guessed that now it would be Barry sinking to his knees to suck Caitlin’s cock, Iris rinsed the lather off her chest before stepping away from the stream again to turn to her legs. She was surely running out of time and really should just focus on getting finished. But she was only human and the flush of desire at the thoughts she just couldn’t purge were tempting her past her breaking point.

Her fingers’ journey to her core was interrupted by a soft knock on the door and Barry’s new voice calling to her.

“Just wanted to see if I should hold off finishing dinner?”

Which was a tempting offer as it would give her time to enjoy the delicious thoughts that had sprung unbidden to mind. Or maybe to indulge in the memories of the afternoon that were becoming more and more clear as she remained awake. But no. She was an adult and could delay her gratification. Not to mention that she was starving and Barry’s cooking was leagues better than what she’d been subjected to on the plane rides back. It felt like she hadn’t eaten in days, though it was likely only 20 hours.

“No, I’ll be right out.”

With the reminder of the ticking clock, and just how hungry she was, Iris moved quickly through the remainder of her shower. Her thoughts remained fixated on the feast waiting for her. Stepping from the shower she toweled off as quickly as she could before grabbing a pair of Barry’s sweats and one of his old t-shirts and padding back to him.

She found him sliding the second quesadilla from the frying pan he’d been using. The smell of melting cheese and cooked steak permeated the small kitchen. He hadn’t noticed her yet affording her the opportunity to watch his focus. She loved seeing him this way, focused and relaxed, and was pleasantly surprised to see that she could clearly see Barry despite his outer appearance as he worked. It was in the way he held the knife and sliced through the crispy crust of the quesadillas with smooth crisp strokes. When he’d divided the two quesadillas into six segments deftly moved three to each plate and finally looked up to find her staring with a smile on her face.

“Dinner’s ready,” he said.

It may have just been the hunger, but Iris would swear that they were perfect. He’d gotten the outer crust crispy and the garlic and rosemary he’d flavored the oil with was easily detectable in each bite. The steak was just how she liked it and the cheese was melted perfection. She’d moaned at least once while eating. All too soon she had nothing left on her plate and her eyes moved to the remaining wedge sitting on Barry’s. It sat there untouched for several minutes as they made casual conversation, though her eyes never left it.

“Still hungry?” he finally asked her with a quiet chuckle.

An embarrassed smile flitted over her features, though her eyes still did not move.

“Sorry.”

“No worries,” he said as he raised his plate and transferred the remaining slice to hers.

“Barry you don’t need to-”, she tried to demure but the growling of her stomach put the lie to her words.

“It’s okay. I’m actually full. Benefits of the body switch I guess, I need a lot less food.”

He didn’t need to tell her twice and she bit into the delicious wedge. 

Later, after she finished the last piece and another few helpings of tortilla chips complete with guacamole, she lay on their couch, waiting for Barry to finish cleaning up and join her. She’d offered to help, given he no longer had his speed the clean up would take actual time and effort, but he’d clearly seen how exhausted she still was and rebuffed her attempts at helping.

When he finally finished and joined her he found her sprawled out across the couch, watching an NCIS rerun. He was pretty sure she’d seen this one at least ten times. He hadn’t seen it quite as much but vaguely remembered who the murderer was, though not the why. When she saw him she lifted her legs enough for him to slide under them, before lowering them to rest upon his lap.

They watched in silence. He softly rubbed her calves, massaging the soreness out of them. She may have sighed softly once or twice. The episode plodded along, the team trading quips back and forth as they delved further into the case. Barry rolled his eyes several times when the show managed the forensics particularly badly. But he kept his thoughts to himself. He was well aware of his wife’s feelings on Abby, “She’s my favorite, like you with boobs,” she’d said once. Though he did have his private suspicions that she actually found Ziva more attractive. A suspicion strengthened that evening as the episode featured several scenes of flirting between Ziva and Toni, and Iris was nibbling softly on her lip as the two actors drew close to each other. Her eyes dilated a bit and Barry’s mind made a connection that had been lurking in the background since that afternoon.

He waited for that episode to end, as he was well aware of the penalty for interrupting her enjoyment of the banter between the two fictional characters. After the credits rolled and another episode started he ran out of excuses to delay.

“So earlier…” he started, but trailed off at the desperate look that flashed across his wife’s eyes. Which in the end is what made him continue. He loved her and if something was bothering her, well he wasn’t just going to ignore it. “When you thought Caitlin and I were cheating…”

He broke off with a sigh when Iris drew her feet away from him, clearly retreating into herself. It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected this reaction. And it wasn’t unfamiliar. Despite her outgoing personality and gregarious nature Iris had never handled confronting her emotions particularly well. She’d withdraw and shut down a situation that forced her to confront any emotion she wasn’t interested in feeling. If he was lucky she’d be confrontational because then at least things could be discussed. But luck was not on his side that evening as she literally drew into herself. Still her eyes had turned from the tv and now he had her full attention. Which meant he was allowed to continue the subject, though he knew it was already on shaky ground.

“You weren’t angry were you?” The way her guarded expression started to crumble confirmed it. So he went to continue, but she surprised him by responding.

“No. I wasn’t. Barry I’m sor-”

When she stopped talking suddenly he felt a trace of fear shoot through him. Which he forced himself to ignore. It wasn’t helpful and his own issues had no place in this discussion. This was about Iris.

“Hey you don’t have anything to apologize for. So what was it that excited you so much?” When she just shuffled her foot against the fabric of the couch he carefully broached his suspicions. “It was Caitlin right? Well her body at least.”

He smiled softly at her, trying to get her to see he wasn’t upset about it. Which he wasn’t. Her not being angry because a naked Caitlin turned her on was fine. Far better than the alternative that she’d be fine because she just hadn’t cared. Which was silly. She loved him. It was just his own issues with abandonment that caused the stray thoughts and accompanying fear. Such moments weren’t as common since his time in the speed force. He’d mostly come to terms with the losses he suffered. But he was only human, and still the fear of being left lingered. So he pushed through and focused on her. Because it helped and because he meant every word that he was about to say.

“It’s been a while right? Since you were with a woman? If you wanted to, you know, do that again I wouldn’t object.”

“No,” she started briefly before stopping again and staring at where her foot worried at the couch.

“Okay, it’s okay if you don’t want to. But it’s okay if you do. I promise that I can handle it if you want to explore being more open with us. Not that I mind it being just us. I mean I’m happy to do anything for you but, present situation excepted, I sorta lack the anatomy for this one so you’d need someone else.”

“G-d Barry would you just stop!” She cried, her face crossing into the look of exasperated anger he had last seen last year when his numerous attempts to save her had worn away at her last nerve. Clearly whatever ledge he’d ventured onto had crumbled beneath him. His mind raced, but before he could form a proper response she continued, though seemingly calmer.

For her part Iris didn’t feel calmer. She was desperately spiraling. And she should shut her mouth and kill this conversation so fast that not even Barry could do it faster. When he was in his normal body that was. And yeah Barry would be annoyed, and maybe a little afraid, but she could deal with that in the morning. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, the nap she’d had just enough to take the edge off. Which unfortunately she was enough in possession of her faculties to realize just how off she was. But her mouth was still moving and thoughts that should have stayed in her head began to spill out.

“Why do you have to be so absolutely undeniably perfect,” she wailed. “Do you have any idea how hard it makes this? Because you’re wrong. Just so wrong. But you’re so sweet and understanding and I feel like such a bitch for not telling you. But how can I tell you? I love you Barry I wouldn’t, couldn’t do anything to risk that. Not even for a minute.” She stopped to heave a deep breath. Air filled her lungs and the corners of her eyes stung. And her vision was a little blurry. Oh lord was she crying? No she couldn’t be crying. That would only make this that much more humiliating.

And then she felt Barry’s arms around her. Because without realizing it she’d leaned forward into her knees turning her self into a ball as much as she could. And of course Barry had scooted closer to comfort her. Which she wanted to be mad about but it was what she actually wanted, though the position was ridiculously awkward.

Maybe she should have pulled away and tried to gather herself before speaking again. She didn’t.

Instead of being prudent she pushed herself forward into her husband’s embrace. Tears streamed from her face and soaked into the fabric of the top he’d borrowed from her drawers. She clasped her arms around him, pulling herself closer. Her knees sunk further into the couch where they now rested. He gently returned the hug, holding the position until he felt her death grip on him start to relax. Then, exerting as little pressure upon her as he could he gently adjusted her position so that she was no longer awkwardly flung against him. When he finished she was resting comfortable with her back against his soft chest. She could feel his warm breasts pressing against her. In any other circumstances that would be a turn on. But the moment was lost on Iris as she felt his arms once again embrace her.

His soft voice whispered in her ear. She wouldn’t remember the individual words even a few minutes later, but their intent was clear. They continued like this until finally the severest reaction to the stress bubbling inside her faded and she could once again collect her self a little.

Taking a breath she tried again.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to-. G-d that’s embarrassing. Can we pretend that didn’t happen.”

She could feel his smile from behind her head.

“Pretend what never happened?” He replied, careful to keep his voice light and neutral. “I’m just sitting here enjoying reruns with my beautiful wife while resisting the urge to kiss her because our friend whose body I’m in might do irreparable harm to me if that was the case.” 

Iris gave a brief chuckle to that.

“But if said amazing wife were to need to cry, because I was an insensitive jerk who pushed her too hard when she’s under enough stress and pressure to make a normal person crack and go on a murdering spree, well that would be totally fine.”

Rolling her eyes she gave him a good natured smack on his arm. He took it in stride.

“Seriously though. I’m in this with you. Whatever you need. And when you’re ready to tell me, I’m ready to hear it. Whatever it is won’t bother me.”

“It should Barry,” she whispered. It wasn’t intentional but she couldn’t seem to make her voice go any louder. “It’s messed up. I’m such a freak.”

“Because you’re still interested in women when we’re together? Honey I never expected your sexuality to change just because we’re monogamous. And if you’re missing…” He trailed off with a sigh. “Sorry I’m talking again and not listening. Go on.”

“Kind of prefer you talking at this point,” she said with a slightly bitter laugh.

“Only because you want to keep delaying. But it’s your choice Iris. We can drop this until you want to talk about it.”

“You’d really be okay if I never said anything?” she asked, turning her head to look into his eyes. She willed him to understand. She wasn’t challenging, she just needed him to understand.

“Really? You think it’s that bad?”

“I’ve never told anyone. Not you, not Eddie, not anyone,” she explained. “So yes I think it’s that bad.”

“Sounds like quite the burden you’ve taken on,” he said before leaning forward slightly to kiss the top of her head. “Luckily I agreed to help share your burdens. Took an oath and everything.” 

She leaned back further into him. 

“You’re impossible,” she said, not even trying to keep the smile from her voice. Though her voice grew timid and afraid as she continued. “Earlier. It wasn’t just seeing Caitlin, well you topless. And yeah I do miss girls, have for a while but it’s not that either. I’m so happy with you Barry.”

“But…,” he added, clearly prompting her to continue.

“But you’re right I’ve been keeping something from you for years. And it wasn’t exactly intentional. It took me a while to figure it out. Like how was I supposed to know it wasn’t normal when we were kids? And once I realized it was weird well, it was just easier to never say anything. Because it’s wrong Barry. So wrong. And it’s not fair to you or Eddie, or Caitlin, or whoever I’m with that I feel this way.”

His grip around her remained constant, the steady pressure in itself a message of support as he waited for her to continue. When she did her voice was barely above a whisper, and there was a cracked desperate sound to the words.

“Earlier. You were right. I was turned on. So turned on I couldn’t control myself with you and Caitlin. And you are sort of right in that Caitlin played a role. But you’re wrong too. It wasn’t the sight of Caitlin, well you. It was the idea of the two of you together.”

“Well I guess that makes sense. I mean you’ve had a crush on her for ages right? Makes sense the thought of both of us together would be appealing. You’d get your cake and- What? Did I get it wrong?” he questioned, as she began to laugh. The laughter had a tinge of desperation he didn’t particularly like. His mind turned over the words she’d said, and tried to insert the words she didn’t say. As he once again recalled the scene from earlier the pieces clicked together. Though it was really more like one of those magic eye puzzles. The picture had always been there but it finally came into focus for him.

“It’s not that is it?” he asked. “It’s not just Caitlin.”

“No,” she said. “It’s you, or well anyone I love, or am into. The thought of them sleeping with someone else is… G-d I can’t explain it Barry. It’s electric. When I thought you and Caitlin were having an affair earlier today all I wanted was to watch as you fucked her in front of me. And maybe after you both would make me clean you up.”

“And that turns you on? The thought of me cheating. Or is it the being cheated on?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that, or not just that. It’s just the thought of you being with someone else. I used to get so turned on when you were dating Patty, imaging you and her together. After you woke up and I was with Eddie, I sometimes thought about him and you together. Or him and Caitlin, that was always a favorite,” she said with a dreamy little sigh. “It’s hard to explain, and honestly I never planned to. But the thought of watching two people I care about together. Well nothing gets me wetter.”

“So that’s your big secret. A cuckolding kink?” When Iris nodded, his soft loving smile became a little mischievous. “Is this why you were always pressing me for details about the girls I dated when we were growing up?” She nodded again and he laughed, surprising her. “Sorry not making fun,” he said in between chuckles. “I just thought you were jealous.”

She snorted loudly at that. “The exact opposite. I think I got off harder to the idea of coming home one day to find you balls deep in Emily than when she went down on me.”

He responded with a laugh of his own. “Yeah well head wasn’t her best skill set.”

“You and Emily?” Iris asked, and now that he was looking for it, he could hear the desire in her tone.

“Yeah it was college, long after you two split. It was that winter break where you stayed at school to finish a project. She came over to see you, probably because she was horny. When she didn’t find you…”

To his pleasant surprise Iris moaned once he trailed off.

“That is so hot,” she whispered.

“Glad you think so,” he chuckled. “It was kind of a disaster. I mean it was my first so I didn’t realize that it didn’t always involve teeth and scraping. And she pulled away at the last second without any kind of warning and I came all over the sheets. Your sheets,” he said softly trying to monitor her reaction to the secret he’d been carrying.

“You and her… in my bed?” Iris squeaked. Her face coloured slightly as she felt the blood racing through her and her heart’s tempo increased. It just wasn’t fair she thought. To learn this amazing truth the one time she couldn’t press Barry into the couch and ride his face till she came. She took a deep breath. She had to calm down. Barry would notice and…

For once she couldn’t muster up the parade of horribles that usually followed the idea that Barry would discover her desires. Why she couldn’t say. Maybe she was just too emotionally exhausted, maybe his acceptance so far was comforting, maybe it was because it couldn’t be any weirder than the fact that she was cuddling with Caitlin Snow on the couch. Who was actually her husband.

Which was apparent when she turned her head enough to see the way Barry was looking at her. The same look he always wore when they cuddled together like this, talking about everything and nothing, adorned his face.

“Take it that wasn’t an angry noise,” he asked her lightly.

“Not at all.”

“Good to know. So if were to tell you about one of the times Patty and I..”

“Caitlin will have to kill me,” she said cutting him off.

“What?” he asked, pleasantly bemused by the non-sequator.

“For jumping your bones and fucking you senseless while you’re in her body,” Iris replied, actual amusement seeping into her voice.

Barry chuckled back. He was amazed, as always, by Iris’s resilience. She’d been through a chaotic and fruitless trip, walked into their shared space to be injured, found her husband body swapped with her crush, and her biggest secret laid bare for him. And she was still finding the humor in it all. G-d did he love this woman.

“Well I guess I’ll save sharing those stories for when I’m back to normal.”

“Normal doesn’t really describe anything about us,” she said softly.

“Hey, we’ll get through this. It’ll just be a few days and then we’ll have all of this fixed. And then we can explore this to your heart’s content.” 

They fell into silence after that.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

Just a few days. Apparently those words were the functional equivalent of “what could go wrong”. Because it had been a few days. Technically more than a few. They were up to several now. A week had passed. A painful, mind numbing and frustrating week. And Iris was at her wits end.

It wasn’t exactly anyone’s fault. Or any one thing. Which was the problem. It was every fucking thing. Work, home, even star labs held no sanctuary for her.

Work was a nightmare. Her boss had been breathing down her neck and she’d been forced to go to print without the final damning evidence she needed to seal the fate of the meta slave ring. It was still a front page story and it was definitely an exclusive that her editor loved. But she’d been forced to table the accusations against several city officials who had looked the other way. And while it was a cold comfort, at least her editor had promised he’d publish whatever follow up piece she wanted once she had the proof in hand. Though, even that was a pyrrhic victory as the promise had only come once she’d threatened to scrap the entire thing. Which was unprofessional and so not her. But after that latest fight with Barry she’d been seconds away from snapping and her pompous ass of an editor was there and his usual charming self, so that had happened.

And she shouldn’t be mad at Barry. But she was. Her husband never handled inactivity well, and especially not when he was nervous. This time was no exception. Unable to go into work or patrol as the Flash, Barry had found himself with a plethora of time on his hands. Which meant he was either puttering around Star Labs waiting for a cure, which no doubt drove Caitlin nuts, or his attention was focused on her. Which normally Iris would be fine with, but with work being what it was she neither had the time or energy to deal with it.

As much as she loved him, Barry could be best described as a touch emotionally needy. Which she knew. He’d had his family and loved ones torn from him multiple times, so she figured some intimacy issues came with the territory. His took the form of needing reaffirmation, physical and emotional, that she was still there. Would still be there. And while his current behavior was highly preferable to how he’d been last year when he’d been convinced she was going to die, it was still highly frustrating.

She didn’t have the time to slip away for lunch or even to come home for dinner. Which meant she’d have to deal with his reaction. He didn’t yell or accuse her of avoiding him, which would have meant she’d have a space to respond at least. Instead he did the same bullshit he had ever since they were kids. He’d withdraw into himself and his face and tone would resemble a scolded puppy. Which in turn made her feel like an inconsiderate asshole.

Which wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t like she was trying to avoid him. The body switch bothered her significantly less than it did either Caitlin or him. She personally found the time travel and parallel realities far stranger than current events. Her husband being a woman? That was entirely digestible. And, honestly if Barry had just been transformed into a girl in his own damn body, and thus there wouldn’t be a stupid no touching rule, she bet she could have him enjoying the change pretty quickly. Not that she had the energy or the desire to do anything the last few days…. But the point, she remembered after taking a second to free herself from the angry tangent she’d found herself embarking on, was that she had no reason to avoid Barry. Except that he was being annoying, but she’d been putting up with that for her entire life.

So she wasn’t actively avoiding him by any stretch. She just simply didn’t have time for him. She’d spent every minute hunting and bashing her head against a wall trying to get the article ready. And if she was making any real progress then maybe she wouldn’t have been so brusque every time Barry had asked her how it was going. But the way he’d sounded when she had nothing new to report just twisted the knife of guilt at ignoring him when he needed her just that much more. Which made her angry and unlike Barry she had a tendency to vocalize. So what little time they had together had been spent in that cycle, eventually culminating in an argument that left them both upset and she’d rush off to work and he’d sit and stew, inevitably coming up with a sweet, but ultimately misplaced gesture, such as home cooking her favorite meal which she would miss out on because she couldn’t pull away from work, and that would just annoy her further and send him further into the funk he was suffering from.

She’d hoped that it would end when the article was finished but it had been a day since then and while things had improved somewhat the core issue still lingered. Barry felt useless and was worried that she’d leave and she felt useless and hurt that she could neither help him nor truly convince him she wasn’t going anywhere. That none of his friends and family were going anywhere. And while it was easy for her to see, having known and lived with him her entire life, she had no idea what to do about it. It was like seeing an onrushing train barreling towards you too fast too avoid. Yeah you knew it was coming towards you but you were unable to change anything and could only brace yourself. Didn’t make it hurt less though.

And adding to Barry’s feelings of useless, the criminal population of Central City had clearly started to believe something was up with the Flash. The proof of that was easy for the team to see, as incidents had once again started to rise. Normally the mere fact that the Flash could be seconds away from interfering served as a deterrent to many criminals. The most desperate, dedicated and delusional of course still acted but that was only a fraction of the criminal activity a large city like theirs endured. So when things were normal there was generally a downtick in crime. But during periods when the Flash was assumed to be MIA or too busy with a super villain to worry about street crime, incidents like the ones filling the newsroom started to occur.

Which was just the perfect topper to a shit week. And of course when Barry found out he’d only spiral further, so she and Joe had been trying to keep it secret, but Barry had found out that morning, which had lead to yet another fight between them. Which was why she was at Star Labs. The one place she was sure Barry wasn’t.

Because she wasn’t avoiding him. Not really. She just needed a minute. Some time with a friendly face. Which would happen to be his, so the saying really didn’t work but she was too tired for any more internal semantics and just needed a moment with her friend to decompress.

So she shouldn’t have been surprised that the first thing that happened when she entered Caitlin Snow’s lab to see her friend was that she was screamed at.

“Okay I get it. This isn’t ideal and it’s taking forever and I said a few days a week ago and nothing is working. But this. This hounding is not working!! I’m only one person and I am doing everything I can.”

The burst of emotion and sound caused Iris to come to a halt. Frozen in place her eyes took in her friend’s state, something she’d been too preoccupied to do when she’d first entered the lab. Caitlin had certainly seen better days. There was a frazzled look about her. Iris was reasonably sure one of the buttons on the shirt Caitlin had borrowed from Barry was slotted into the wrong hole, making the entire shirt look lopsided. While Caitlin’s hair was now short, it was clear she had been running her hands through it incessantly, a habit Caitlin only resorted to when dealing with an unhealthy amount of stress.

But it was the wild look in Caitlin’s eyes made up Iris’s mind before any conscious thoughts formed. Dropping her pocket book to the floor, heedless of the items inside, Iris strode across the room to where her friend stood. Iris wrapped her arms around Caitlin’s lean body. It surprised Iris that while she could clearly see Caitlin past Barry’s exterior, the feel was entirely Barry. It reminded Iris of when she and Barry were younger, when he’d spiral out of control after driving himself to distraction over the fate of his father and mother. Iris would clasp him in her arms, somehow sure that it was the only thing she could do. Inevitably he would deflate and relax in her arms and they would talk until he felt better.

Perhaps it was muscle memory, or perhaps Caitlin just needed her the way Barry had all those years ago, but soon Iris felt the other woman collapse into the embrace. Wetness pooled against the crook of Iris’s neck where Caitlin’s head came to rest. It didn’t take a seasoned reporter to know that Caitlin was crying. Or that the scientist needed the cry. So Iris just held her and gave her that space.

A trill of guilt shot through Iris. She hadn’t realized how heavy all of this was weighing on her friend. But she should have known. She’d seen first hand how badly Barry was taking the situation and he didn’t have everyone’s hopes for getting things back to normal resting on him. Sure, Iris had no doubt Cisco and Wells were doing their best to help, but the biological was Caitlin’s expertise, which meant she’d no doubt felt it all depended on her.

And Caitlin wasn’t wrong. If anyone was going to figure it out it was her. Even Iris was waiting for Caitlin to walk into the main lab and announce that she’d solved it and everything would be back to normal. And sure she’d mostly come to see Caitlin to bitch about Barry, which wasn’t necessarily fair to her friend given Caitlin’s obvious crush on him and that Caitlin was in his body which added another weird layer to it, but it wasn’t Iris’s fault they were the only two girls on the team. And that she had a bit of a crush on Caitlin so any time they were together was something that made Iris’s day just a little bit brighter. The way seeing Barry normally made her feel. However, she’d be lying if she claimed she wouldn’t have asked how things were proceeding. She was only human.

So Iris stood there and held Caitlin until the trembling stopped and no new tears ran against the dark skin of her neck. When she felt like Caitlin was ready, and probably would be horrifically embarrassed if the hug continued, Iris released the other woman, letting Caitlin step back. Caitlin’s lanky arm rubbed against her eyes, trying to get the last of the tears that had broken free.

“Better?”

“Sorry,” Caitlin said.

“Nothing to apologize for,” Iris responded, leaning against one of the lab tables as much to help support her weight as to give Caitlin a little space. “This can’t be easy on you. Everyone counting on you for a fix.”

“No. I mean yes that isn’t ideal but it’s not just that.” Caitlin’s eyes dropped down, refusing to meet Iris’s questioning gaze. Which made the professionally inquisitive Iris think something else was going on. She briefly considered letting Caitlin spill in her own time, before deciding that the chance of that happening without intervention was too low for her taste.

“Okay. So what is it?” at Caitlin’s surprised look Iris rolled her eyes and smiled softly at the other woman. “Don’t act surprised Frost. You’re one of my closest friends, I’m here for you.”

Caitlin gave a brief smile at that, which in turn made Iris smile. The two women shared the moment, a small island of tranquility in the rapids that the last week had been. Sooner than Iris wanted Caitlin’s smile faded and the scientist ducked her head and averted her eyes.

“It’s stupid,” Caitlin muttered. Her eyes were firmly planted on the linoleum.

Iris’s right eyebrow raised. She was sure it looked stupid but she was trying to signal the other woman to stop distracting from the issue and actually spill. Now that she realized just how much the current situations were wearing on Caitlin, Iris had no intention of leaving the subject alone until she knew what was going on.

“If it’s bothering you it isn’t stupid,” Iris countered.

“I just feel so useless. I’ve tried everything I can think of and I can’t figure out what happened.”

“You mean you and Barry didn’t get zapped by a body transfer device?”

“No. I mean, yes we did. But that’s just it. That shouldn’t be possible. But it clearly is because DeVoe used it to hijack different bodies and also we’re switched. And perfectly. Which is the impossible part. Every way I can think this happened would leave some defect, some residue that would give me a clue to reverse it. But there’s nothing. There’s nothing wrong with Barry or I. We’re just switched and it’s like we’ve always been this way.”

“Right, cause the transfers are stable right? What I listen when you talk, even if I don’t understand it all. But you said that was a good thing right? It’s why there’s no degradation or loss of self, or the other fancy words you used to describe a series of really horrible things that could have happened to the two of you.”

“Yes. And while it’s good for those reasons. Well that’s part of the problem in getting us back to normal. Whatever happened fully and completely switched Barry and I. Which means there’s no lingering problem to fix which will revert us back. As far as I can tell the transfers were perfect. Which is why we haven’t had any complications. And since the transfers are completely stable as far as our bodies are concerned there’s nothing to fix.”

“So this is permanent? No way to switch you back?”

“Well those two aren’t mutually exclusive,” Caitlin responded. At Iris’s bemused look Caitlin tried to rethink her phrasing. “Okay so the original transfer was permanent. Biologically speaking this is the body my mind resides in as a default now. Absent further action on our parts I’d stay like this forever.”

“Okay. But can’t we just do it again and switch you back?”

“That’s the problem! Sorry I don’t mean to… It’s just really frustrating. Yes, the only option would be to do another permanent transfer. But DeVoe’s technology is like nothing we’ve ever seen. And given this was caused by accident, during an explosion caused by Ralph poking around with the damaged char there are variables I can’t even begin to account for. Even if I had a working chair, which I don’t, I haven’t been able to figure out exactly what occurred to do it again. And if I don’t get it exactly right we could have complications. Possibly really bad ones. So I need to get this right but I just can’t find any indication of what caused the shift.”

“And that’s why you feel useless?”

“Yes! I should be able to figure this out if DeVoe could. Honestly I can’t even wrap my head around the base technology he’s using let alone the variables that might have affected the transfer. I honestly have tried everything I know and I can’t get anywhere! And it’s not like we have any time to spare.” Caitlin said. The anguish on the scientist’s face was palatable. 

“Hey it’s okay. There’s no rush. The most important thing is that you and Barry stay safe.”

Caitlin let out a bitter laugh, stopping Iris in her tracks. When their eyes met again, Iris was sure hers were filled with concern. Which didn’t improve when she noticed the desperate look in Caitlin’s eyes.

“Of course there’s a rush. We can’t just be each other. Barry needs to get back to work before Singh fires him. And the city needs the Flash. And I – well I just… nevermind.”

“Well okay, that is a lot to process. Let’s sit, take it one thing at a time. Okay?”

With a defeated nod, Caitlin did as Iris suggested. Soon the two sat side by side on the cold floor. Iris nudged closer to her friend, so that their shoulders just touched. Hopefully it would help Caitlin to realize she wasn’t alone.

“Okay so where did all of that come from?” Iris asked softly, trying not to startle the other woman.

A sneaking suspicion gripped Iris as Caitlin’s eyes stayed downcast. It grow worse when she nudged Caitlin and the other woman’s eyes became fixated as far from where Iris was sitting as possible. She was going to kill Barry. She understood he was stressed by all of this but to place his fears and concerns on their friend was too much.

“Look whatever Barry-“

When Iris mentioned his name Caitlin’s head jerked up. Wide eyes met Iris’s and a look of sheer anxiety painted Caitlin’s face.

  
“Itwasn’tbarry.”

Iris blinked twice as she tried to separate the stream of syllables into something coherent. While the beautiful scientist in front of her had a tendency to talk quickly when nervous this was on a different level. In fact it was super human.

Caitlin had just babbled at super speed. Which should not have been cute, or endearing, or made a strong burst of warmth occur inside Iris’s chest. But it did. Temptation flashed through Iris’s mind. Caitlin was only inches from her. It wouldn’t be more than a second’s effort to tilt the other woman’s head towards her and join their lips in another kiss. But it was a stray thought, nothing more. It certainly wasn’t anything to cause her breath to catch in her chest or liquid heat to pulse down at her core.

Breaking free from the thoughts, and the physical effects they were causing within her, Iris tried to focus on Caitlin’s words. But it was futile so she ended up just smiling at her friend and saying, “Try again. Maybe at normal speeds.”

Caitlin blushed and cast her eyes downward yet again. This time she managed to squeak out separate words, though there was a distinct lack of volume this time.

“It wasn’t Barry. I don’t think he knows.”

Iris blinked repeatedly as she did her best to make out the nearly whispered words. Caitlin hadn’t been speaking loudly to start with but with each word some of the volume leaked out from her tone, like air escaping from a balloon. So trying to discern any meaning wasn’t easy but soon Iris had slotted the pieces of the puzzle into place.

“My dad,” Iris bit back a sigh. She loved her father. He was a kind and caring man. And he loved Barry like a son. But he could be prone to fits of anxiety and since he rarely yelled or screamed most people didn’t realize it. Instead it manifested in an over-protective streak. One that apparently lead him to pester Caitlin about Singh’s notorious lack of patience when it came to Barry.

Irish had known the captain long enough to have a good idea of what had happened. No doubt Singh had glowered and bitched about whatever temp forensic scientist they’d had since Barry had been arrested. As much a Barry annoyed Singh, the older man knew Barry was one of the best in his field. Certainly the fastest. And Singh would be impatient to have Barry back on the clock. No doubt the Captain had muttered some stray comment or inquired why Barry hadn’t come back to work a little too harshly and her father had taken it to heart. Which was probably just Singh blowing smoke. She may not be a lawyer, but Iris was fairly sure the department would have to be concerned about letting Barry go right after falsely convicting him of a murder of a man the courts now knew was still alive.

Though, Iris had little doubt that Singh’s guilt over the false arrest and subsequent forced suspension was certainly at play as well. The sooner Barry was back in his lab the sooner the whole station could pretend nothing had happened. Though Iris doubted they really could, which brought her to the conclusion of what had to have set her father off.

Singh was looking for another CSI tech. He had to be. With Julian gone, Barry was the only CSI tech for the entire department. Which meant he handle all of the evidence. Each and every case that the department handled from the simplest pickpocketing to murder, and every meta-attack the city suffered, was all handled by Barry. Which created a vulnerability in every conviction secured that Singh must have realized in the month Barry had spent behind bars and the time Barry had been forced to take a leave of absence. The department had leaned heavily on Cisco during that time, and in truth Cisco had had Barry do all the actual forensics.

Surely at least one defense lawyer had challenged the convictions on that basis. After all if Barry had been the monster the prosecution had painted him as surely planting and forging evidence would not be a stretch for him. Iris had, had a few defense lawyers approach her during that period seeking to confirm the news, something she’d ignored during the time. If she’d given it even a moment’s thought she’d chalked it up to someone looking to represent them during the appeal process. But as time had passed and no such offer had come to pass, she’d pondered it one day. And Cecile, her future step-mother, had overheard the stray thought with her gestational telepathy. Which had led to a brief whispered conversation on what those lawyers had really been after. A way to overturn a case even after the appeals process had been exhausted. And she’d given them what they needed, confirming that Barry had been the only CSI over the last year and that a conviction had been secured.

Thankfully Ralph had managed to resolve the situation shortly thereafter, using his newly found ability to mimic the physical shape of others to impersonate DeVoe. With Barry fully cleared, and the charges dropped as being baseless Barry’s reputation had been restored in the eyes of the Court. No doubt any lawsuits challenging a conviction based on the fact that Barry had processed the evidence had been dropped or dismissed.

Granted that hadn’t been good enough for the mayor. Who had forced Barry to take a leave of absence. And so the department had been without at CSI tech until Barry was allowed to return.

So Singh had to be concerned about the future. All it would take was one bad act on Barry’s part or one mistake that tarnished his credibility and they would be back at square one, with every conviction vulnerable. Or if Barry were injured or actually took a vacation then the department would once again be unable to process any crime scenes.

If she were in Singh’s shoes Iris would have immediately looked to hire another team member, someone who could also review the results and stand up in case something happened with Barry. And Singh no doubt told himself that it wasn’t because he didn’t trust Barry. What if someone tried to frame the CSI again? It was the best way to defeat an otherwise airtight case. Which meant by adding another person they could make it that much harder to pull off the same trick twice.

And her father had no doubt been concerned that if Singh was hiring one more CSI, it wouldn’t be too hard to find a second. Only this one instead of joining the department as a partner for Barry would be his replacement. So Joe had no doubt taken it upon himself to get Barry back in the saddle as quickly as possible. Which meant solving the real reason he couldn’t return.

But her father was no scientist. And as smart as he was, and as good at his job as he was, Iris knew he viewed all of the things the team dealt with as being beyond him. So he often just shook his head and focused on whatever piece he felt within his wheelhouse. Which meant when he’d approached Caitlin he’d almost certainly reduced the challenge before her to a problem that needed to be fixed immediately. And like her, her father was fairly vocal. And blunt. 

Having a full picture now, Iris sighed to herself, letting some of the annoyance that had flared inside her when she’d thought Barry had let his insecurities overcome his common sense slip away. She could talk to her father later about his earnest zeal to help. But right now she needed to clear her head somewhat. Ranting or coming across irate would not help Caitlin any.

“Well, whatever he said, it’ll be okay,” Iris said softly, wrapping her arm around the other woman’s shoulders. “Singh isn’t going to fire Barry for needing some time after being falsely arrested. For all his bluster he doesn’t hate Barry, or he would have let him go ages ago. And he’s not stupid, so he’d have to know that trying to fire Barry now would just cause a lawsuit.”

“But your dad was positive Singh was on his last nerve,” Caitlin responded, her eyes breaking contact with Iris’s but not pulling away from the embrace.

Iris rolled her eyes. “He’s positive of that every third week,” she said. “And he’s not entirely wrong. Barry annoys Singh pretty much all the time. He’s late, inconsistent and a bit scatterbrained, which are all qualities that drive Singh insane.” Sensing Caitlin’s spirits dropping further, Iris reached out gently and tilted her friend’s head up so that their eyes met. “What Singh likes about Barry is his enthusiasm, dedication and passion. Also that he’s brilliant. And all of that outweighs some minor annoyance. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if Singh thought of Barry like a much younger brother. Annoying but indispensible.”

When Caitlin’s eyes flashed up, finally meeting hers, Iris let out a sigh she hadn’t realized was caught in her throat. The anxiety in them was palpable. Iris hated seeing it. Was this what Barry felt like last year when she was a mess? A person you lo- no too scary, liked. Because she liked Caitlin. It was just a crush. Nothing more. A person you liked being terrified and there was nothing you could do.

Iris felt powerless. She hated that feeling. She’d experienced it often enough in her life. When Barry had been suffering after his father’s imprisonment. When Barry had been struck by lightening during the particle accelerator explosion and had gone into a coma. When Eddie had died to save them all. When Zoom had targeted Linda. When Zoom had defeated Barry. When Zoom had abducted Caitlin. When Zoom killed Barry’s father. When she had learned of Flashpoint. When Barry revealed she died at the hands of Savitar. When Caitlin had become Killer Frost and left them. When HW sacrificed himself to save her. When Barry left for the speed force. When Caitlin had walked away after the final battle. The memories caused a rueful thought to pass through her mind. Given all the times she spent feeling helpless she should be better at dealing with it.

And okay most of those situations she would have needed superpowers like Barry to do anything about. But this situation didn’t require superpowers. It just required some creative thinking and managing of their team’s various skill sets. Which just so happened to be things that Iris West-Allen excelled at.

Her mind made up, Iris acted. First she stood up. Caitlin’s worried eyes followed the movement.

“Ok,” Iris declared. “I’ll take care of it. You just relax and keep working and I’ll make sure everything else is taken care of.”

With a smile at her friend, Iris walked back out of the lab, the beginnings of a plan taking shape.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

 

Caitlin watched helplessly as Iris charged off. She felt guilty that she hadn’t been exactly honest with her friend. She hadn’t lied. Everything she said had been true. She just hadn’t told Iris the whole truth. And how could she? She couldn’t imagine having that conversation with Iris. It was bad enough that there had been that misunderstanding when Iris had first discovered the switch. To have to explain to the other woman that her adjustment to Barry’s body hadn’t been smooth would be too mortifying for words. And ok as a scientist she understood that Barry’s hyper-metabolism meant that her new body produced chemicals and hormones at an accelerated rate and thus all of her needs were amplified. But that still didn’t make the urges constantly coursing through her any easier to deal with. How Barry had learned to deal with it was something she desperately wanted to know. But she couldn’t ask him either. It was too embarrassing. 

She was like a horny teenager. Every little thing set her off. Despite the incredibly awkward conversation and the emotional mess she was, her shaft had hardened just from being near Iris. And when the other woman had hugged her tight, which caused Iris’s firm breasts to press against her torso Caitlin thought she’d lose all control and cum on the spot. She’d managed to make it through, the awkwardness of the situation and her own embarrassment were the only things that saved her from her new appendage’s needs. It throbbed painfully even now. Any movement set the stupid thing rubbing against the cloth of the clothes she’d borrowed from Barry and sent a surge of pleasure racing through her. It was incredibly distracting.

The temptation to do something about it was with her constantly. She longed to strip down and stroke it to feel more of that pleasure course through her. And yeah, ok maybe it was partially because of her attraction to Barry and this would be her only chance to see or touch that part of his anatomy. And even a brief look could fuel her fantasies for years.

But she wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. She couldn’t take advantage of his body in that way. And yeah it was sort of her body too right now, so maybe it wasn’t taking advantage. But he was married. And he was one of her best friends.

And yes, she often wished he could be more. There was a time years before when she thought maybe it could happen. Iris had been with Eddie and thanks to Barry, Caitlin had started to move on from Ronnie. But then she’d found out Ronnie was alive and she’d become focused on getting back what she’d lost. And for a short while she’d had it. Until the final battle with Thonn and Ronnie’s sacrifice to save them all. By the time she had finished grieving again, her window to explore something more with Barry had passed. He was with Patty, and then later Iris. Her feelings hadn’t faded though.

So she kept them buried. She and Cisco didn’t talk about it anymore, though the occasional looks he threw her suggested he knew, and she tried to move on. First with Jay, who turned out to be a psychopath. Then she’d tried with Julian, who cared about her and wasn’t actively trying to murder her friends. For a time she thought that maybe there could be something there. There had been a spark of desire and need when he looked at her, when he touched her. But to save her life he’d turned her into Killer Frost. Her worst nightmare. And that hurt and betrayal had carried through to her new form. So it wasn’t Julian, Frost had turned to. But Savitar. The dark version of Barry. But in the end even in the state she’d been in she’d chosen the real Barry.

When she’d learned of Barry’s sacrifice, after her dentate with Killer Frost had begun and they’d established their current time share system, she’d been devastated. And okay the thought of maybe trying to comfort Iris had slipped through her defenses. And maybe that could have lead to more. Which made her feel even worse.

Which is why she’d finally agreed to return from her self imposed exile to help Cisco try and rescue him after the robotic samurai appeared. When he’d emerged, Caitlin thought her heart would burst with joy. And when he’d seemed to have lost his self, she’d been devastated to see him like that. But a selfish part of her had hoped that maybe she could be there for him, help him to recover and this time he’d choose her. Those thoughts had shamed her to her core.

So for the last few months, since Barry had returned, Caitlin had done her best to come to terms with the fact that her feelings would never fade, certainly not so long as she remained in close proximity to him. And that they would never be reciprocated. He was with Iris. Like he always wanted. And she was happy for him. For them.

Honestly Caitlin couldn’t even find it in her to be resentful of Iris. And despite what Killer Frost thought, and had written several times in the notes they used to communicate with each other, before DeVoe sealed her alter ego away, it wasn’t because Caitlin was a milksop. The truth was that Caitlin understood why Barry had chosen the other woman.

Iris was wonderful. She was everything anyone could every want. She was ridiculously smart, despite what she thought about herself. She had a keen and nimble mind, able to adapt quickly to changing situations and on more than one occasion had been invaluable in figuring out how to thwart whatever villain or disaster they were battling, despite not having spent decades studying the science like Caitlin and Cisco had. And maybe Caitlin could compete with Iris on that stage, but it wasn’t just Iris’s nimble mind that made her so amazing.

Caitlin didn’t have the words for it, but the closest she could come up with was that Iris had an amazing soul. Iris was kind and caring in a way Caitlin knew few people were. Even with her husband trapped in another body Iris had taken the time to come and see Caitlin. And after Caitlin had snapped at her, Iris hadn’t reacted with anger. She’d simply reached out and tried to comfort Caitlin. The warmth and caring that emanated from Iris had touched Caitlin deeply. In more ways than one.

It had been everything Caitlin could do to keep herself from leaning forward and closing the space between them and try for another kiss with Iris. And it wasn’t just the hormones. Even if she’d been in her own body Caitlin was sure she’d be tempted. Not that anyone could blame her, Iris’s lips called out to be kissed.

The thought of the kiss that wasn’t had Caitlin’s cock throbbing mercilessly again. She tried to shift her thoughts to anything else. But it was futile. The only thing that was on her mind was how would Iris’s hair feel against the back of her hands as she ran them through it. Of running her hands over Iris’s smooth skin. Maybe getting to feel the tight muscles of Iris’s calves. Of squeezing them as she worked her way up towards the joinder of those fabulous legs. Caitlin bit back a moan at the thought of what waited there. 

She was being ridiculous. This… crush on her best female friend was stupid. Iris was with Barry. Barry was with Iris. And none of these thoughts were helping. No. It was time to get up and get back to work. The sooner she figured out a solution to the problem at hand the sooner she could go back to safely ignoring her feelings. With her mind made up Caitlin returned to her research, her cock rubbing annoyingly against the cloth of her pants.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

“That is a truly terrible plan.”

Iris rolled her eyes. Harry was being true to form. As she had expected the first thing out of his mouth when she’d finished talking was a blank stare followed by a slightly raised eyebrow and then a dismissive tone. Though she should take the win, Cisco generally got a derisive tone out of Harry so she had a step up on their resident genius.

“And your better one would be…” Cisco countered. It was nice to have support, though Iris suspected it was less because he thought her plan was a good one and more about his standard dynamic with Harry.

“Fix the problem. Swap Barry and Caitlin back and get things back to normal,” Harry shot back. Which meant Iris’s eyes did another loop while Cisco scoffed at his friend and mentor.

“If we could do that we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Cisco retorted, which was met by a derisive scoff from Harry. Which Iris suspected was as much about the face Cisco made at Harry as the actual reminder of their collective failure to solve the problem.

“So we keep trying. We’re men of science. We don’t give up. We keep exploring until we figure it out,” Harry shot back. When Cisco’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth shot open Iris knew it was time to step in. Otherwise the two would keep going in circles until one finally stormed off in a huff. She needed to direct the conversation into a productive path.

“And no one is saying we should give up. Or that you two and Caitlin won’t eventually solve this and things will get back to normal,” she said calmly, inserting her words between the dueling men. “But the current situation is hard on Barry and Caitlin. And while you will eventually solve the problem, right now,” she raised her tone slightly and strengthened her inflection to cut off Wells’s impending rebuttal, “right now we can do something to make them more comfortable until we find a solution. Don’t we owe them that?” she asked, turning towards Cisco as she did. The question, while posed to both of them, was really for Cisco. After all he was their tech wizard.

…and, if she was being honest, once Cisco was on board and helping it essentially meant Harry would be too. The strange dynamic between the two virtually ensured that Harry would be right there challenging Cisco’s ideas, which always lead to a spate of arguing followed by Harry getting sucked into whatever project Cisco was tinkering with. And with the two of them trying to one up each other she was sure they’d get the system set up perfectly.

The look on Cisco’s face suggested he wasn’t completely sold. Which was less than ideal because Iris really wasn’t sure what more she could say to persuade him. Fortunately, though Harrison Wells was on the case.

His derisive snort cut through the lingering silence and Cisco’s face instantly morphed from one of reluctance to a stern defiant glare fixated on Harry. Iris did her absolute best to keep her features neutral as the two played completely into her hands. Idly she wondered if this is how super villains felt when Barry was tricked into doing what they wanted.  

By the time she emerged from her thoughts, they had started arguing about the difficulty of the plan. Of all the ways it could go wrong. And each time one of them pointed out a valid flaw or possible issue the other immediately shot it down, pulling some brilliant fix out of thin air. Soon their conversation engrossed them completely and they had forgotten her presence.

She lingered for a little while, watching the by play only long enough to be sure they wouldn’t break free from the cycle long enough to realize neither had actually agreed to go along with her plan.

When she finally left the lab they had been discussing some of the more tricky technological aspects of her idea. Which was perfect. She’d happily leave solving the real world tech implementation to the brain trust. After all there were other details that needed her attention if this was to work.

She began to divide what needed to be done into discrete tasks, and from there into ordered steps that she could follow. It took her most of the way to her next destination to have a concrete list, but as she entered he prescient where she’d find her father she knew the effort was worth it. Because now she was in her element. Unlike Barry and Caitlin she wasn’t a thinker. Oh she was plenty smart. She had no doubts about that. She could reason with the best of them and could think on her feet whenever necessary.

But unlike her husband she was never content just to suss through a problem in her own head. No, Iris Allen-West wasn’t content unless she was actively working towards a solution. She thought best that way, when her body was in motion and each second brought her closer to her next destination.

So by the time she reached her father’s desk she knew what she wanted to say. Or not say, really, as her weapon of choice was a stern silent glare as she hovered over her seated father. She held the pose, waiting for him to notice her. She was out of his line of sight, but years of living with him had taught her he had an almost preternatural gift sensing when he was being watched.

And sure enough it only took a few seconds before he was no longer just not looking at her. Now he was purposefully trying to ignore her presence. It was in the way his shoulders had momentarily tensed before he took control and tried to look relaxed. Also whereas before his eyes had left the screen in front of him at the least excuse now he acted as if there was nothing more interesting in the world. Given how often he bitched about doing his paperwork she wasn’t buying it for a second. Clearly he was trying to avoid talking to her.

Which might normally be annoying given all the preparations that she needed to do to get her idea ready to present to Caitlin and Barry that evening. However, her father’s renitence was actually playing into her hands nicely. As she stood waiting, careful to make sure ire radiated out of every pore of her body she had no doubt the whispers were beginning. Cops were the most gossipy people she had ever met, significantly worse than even the reporters she generally spent her days with.

So after she was sure she had their attention, she cleared her throat, carefully ensuring it was loud enough to Carry to the other officers. Her father kept his attention carefully off of her.

“What did you say to Caitlin?

“Do you really want to have this conversation here?” her father’s voice fell and his eyes shifted towards one of the conference rooms. “Cause of you know what,” he tried to whisper.

Iris rolled her eyes. Mostly for show. Because really this could not be going any better if she’d planned it. The conversations around them had shifted. No longer were the other cops in the room focused on the conversations they’d been having. No, they were clearly listening to her conversation with her father, while desperately trying to look as if they weren’t.

“This isn’t her fault,” Iris stated in a stage whisper. Her goal was to be just load enough to overhear without making it obvious that was her goal. From the furtive glances of the others around them, it was working.

“I know, and I didn’t-” her father started before sheepishly trailing off.

“You had no right to make her feel guilty about it,” Iris scolded. “Whatever problems-”

The pause was not planned. But it worked better than anything she could have said. Iris briefly feeling gratitude to the source of the pause. Cecille. Her father’s fiancé. The shorter woman had walked up from behind her and had inserted herself in-between Iris and her father. The pause was the result of the look in her father’s eyes and needing to take a beat to assess what Cecille was up to. With her gestational telepathy she could ruin the progress Iris had created if she tried to play peacemaker.

“Probably not the best place for a family spat,” Cecille said lightly. “I’m not sure Barry or Caitlin would like the entire precinct to know the details of their love lives.”

Cecille’s eyes met Iris’s and the younger woman could make out a familiar twinkle in them. It was the same mischievous glint Cecille had when she’d first discovered her pregnancy had given her temporary telepathy. Iris stopped her self from relaxing. She was supposed to be furious with her father and his interference in her love life after all. So playing the role of a petulant child she glared at her father and future stepmother and huffed.

“Fine. We’ll continue this in an interrogation room,” Iris said before walking away. She didn’t look back. She trusted Cecille to shepherd Joe along. Given the predatory smirk she’d seen on the other woman’s face, and the confused one on her father’s, she doubted that Cecille would let him escape his fate. One thing Iris loved about her new mother in law to be was her sense of adventure. The older woman rolled with the punches of their bizarre lives better than any of them, and often tried to find the joy in it. Iris did her best to keep a matching smirk from growing on her face. This was going to be a fun conversation.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It had taken a day of running around but Iris was close to having her plan ready to present. The solution had been fairly obvious once she’d put her mind to it. They needed to give Barry and Caitlin some semblance of normalcy if this state of affairs was going to continue. They couldn’t both continue to be hidden away from the world. It wasn’t healthy for any of them.

She checked her watch again. It was six thirty which gave her about half an hour before Caitlin would be arriving for dinner. It had been Barry’s idea for them to discuss Iris’s plan over dinner. Since it let her husband contribute, and kept him busy, Iris had readily agreed.

Convincing Caitlin to stop working and come over had been a little harder, but some wheedling and pleading on the phone had done the trick. In the end she’d agreed to stop working on a solution and come eat with them.

Iris rehearsed the plan again in her head as she crossed the threshold of her apartment. She could hear the sound of Barry working in the kitchen. G-d she loved that man. Whatever he was working on smelt delicious. He looked up and smiled at her when she entered the kitchen to greet him. His lips pressed against hers. When he pulled away his face scrunched up and he grimaced a little.

“Yeah I might be a little gross,” she said. “Been running around trying to get everything set up. Pretty sure I’m sweaty.”

“I said nothing,” he replied, turning back to cutting board where he was prepping the vegetables.

“What are we having,” she asked, her tone light with amusement at his antics.

“Roast pork loin with dry fried string beans and cauliflower spaetzles,” he said.

“Sounds delicious. I’m going to hop in the shower before Caitlin gets here. Try and make myself less gross,” she said.

A quick, cold shower later and Iris was feeling more like a person again. She’d spent the brief shower making sure she had her ideas down and wouldn’t become flustered or confused. Delivery would be important. Neither Barry or Caitlin were likely to love the idea at first, so it would be up to Iris to convince them. Which she understood. This wasn’t the fix any of them had been hoping for. This was just a way to make sure they all remained sane and gainfully employed long enough to actually solve the issue permanently.

When she emerged from her bedroom, wearing a pair of comfortable shorts and a t-shirt, she found Caitlin already there. Her friend was waiting patiently, but very nervously on the coach.

Iris joined her. She sat down in the middle of the couch so that she was closer to Caitlin. Barry was still working in the kitchen, though by the smells everything was close to ready. So she just needed to make small talk with Caitlin for a few minutes. Which should be easy. Caitlin was one of her closest friends after all. Normally they could talk easily about just about anything.

But something wasn’t right. Iris had no words to share. Part of it was nerves because of the plan she was going to present. But even more it was something she was sensing in Caitlin. It was like the other woman was scooting as far away from her as possible. The realization that Caitlin’s stiff posture and lean into the arm of the couch was a result of Iris’s proximity hurt. And so instead of nice easy banter, Iris struggled to come up with an explanation other than the one which consumed her thoughts.

She still hadn’t found one when Barry informed them dinner was ready. They all settled at the table she and Barry kept in the dining room. The food smelled delicious. And from the desperate glint in Caitlin’s eyes and the roar of her stomach clearly at least one of them was starving.

Which gave Iris an excuse to delay. Which she gladly took. So they ate. In an awkward silence. Which was only punctuated by the moans of pleasure that escaped Caitlin as the woman ate. Barry and Iris shared a knowing look. It wasn’t the first time that noise had filled the dining room. Barry had made it on more than one occasion when he’d gone too long in-between meals. Iris loved food but even she didn’t make noises like that. It had to be a speedster thing.

Unfortunately for Iris the reprieve the dinner had brought couldn’t last the entire night. Eventually they had all finished. Which just left desert. And the discussion that had Iris so on edge.

When Barry brought out the last of the three mini-cheesecakes he’d made for them and took a seat next to Caitlin, Iris knew she was out of time. Her own plate was empty. She’d practically shoveled the dense desert into her mouth out of sheer nervous energy. Even Caitlin still had some left in her dish.

With nothing else to use to delay, Iris was left with no other option than to break the silence.

“Alright. I know we were all hoping for a quick solution, but it seems despite everyone’s best efforts this one is going to take a while to figure out. And if we’re going to have any hope at fixing it and getting things back to normal, we’re going to need to make some adjustments right now. Caitlin, you can’t keep working on this non-stop. You’re killing yourself and neither I nor Barry want a cure if it destroys you finding it. And Barry, honey I love you but you can’t keep doing nothing. It’s clearly bothering you.

“So I propose that we stop treating this like it’s a short term fix and start coming to terms with the fact that it might take a while to solve. So the way I see it there are a few problems. First, Barry needs to return to work, both for his own sanity and so Singh doesn’t fire him. Second, Caitlin needs time to work on finding a solution on a reasonable time frame, and not this 24/7 marathon that has been occurring. Third, the city needs the Flash. Fourth, all three of us need to get back some normalcy rather than avoiding everyone not in the know.”  
  
“Okay, but Iris we talked about this,” Caitlin replied carefully. “We can’t tell anyone about the switch. Whoever we tell would want to know what meta did it, and as far as we know there isn’t one with that power. And it’s not like we can just say oh our superhero friend was playing around with an evil genius’s chair and mistakes were made.”

“And making one up is bound to go wrong,” Barry added. “With either inventing a person or lying about who’s the cause there’s too many ways it could go wrong. Also it’d only add to the paranoia about me at the station.”

“Which is why it’s important no one figure out that you two are not in the right bodies. So, starting Monday, Caitlin you’ll go to work as Barry. You’ll clock in each day and then you can use your super speed to return here to work, heading back to the office as necessary. You’ll attend any crime scenes that Barry is needed at.”

“Iris I’m not a CSI. And just cause I know biology doesn’t mean I know forensics.”

“Right. Which is why Cisco and Harry are working on setting up a remote system so Barry can help you with that part. We’ll get you a set up where he can hear and see what you’re looking at in real time and he can give you the information you need to get through each crime scene. Once you’re back at the station you can either bring him the materials at Star Labs or bring him there and he’ll do the actual forensic work. Meanwhile this will free up your days to work on a solution without having to worry about Barry’s job. Which means you don’t have to rush as much, so you can work normal hours and sleep and eat like a sane person. So that’s problems one and two solved.”

“Why do I think I’m not going to like your solution to the third problem,” Caitlin muttered.

“I know it’s not ideal but the city needs the Flash, and right now that’s you. Barry can help you train and learn how to use the powers. And with the Flash visibly returned again, crime rates should drop again, which will mean less time spent at crime scenes and more time to devote to solving the main problem.”

“So, Caitlin and I will just live each other’s lives? I’m pretty sure someone is going to notice if we start acting different,” Barry said.

“Well there is a solution for that. I don’t think you’ll necessarily like it though,” Iris said. “We pretend that as a result of your being convicted we hit a rough patch and are now on a trial separation. This way Caitlin gets to live in her own apartment.”

“And where does Barry stay then?” Caitlin asked.

“With me, here,” Iris said.

“And that isn’t suspicious because,” Barry asked.

“Because after ‘Barry’ and I split, ‘Caitlin’ came over to comfort me and she and I decided to be together on a trail basis. It’s not like it’s a secret I’m bi,” Iris said. “Come on I know it’s messy but it really is the best solution. Any personality or behavior shifts that anyone notices in ‘Barry’ will just be chalked up to a mix of his being falsely accused and being an emotional mess from our split. And this means Barry and I can live together here and it won’t be immediately obvious that something is off when I stare lovingly at ‘Caitlin’ and vice versa. This way we enter a kind of holding pattern, keeping the status quo going and Caitlin should have the time necessary to find a safe solution.”

“Barry, you can’t possibly be thinking of agreeing to this,” Caitlin said. “This is not a solution.”

“Caitlin, I know it’s not perfect-” Iris started, before Caitlin cut her off.

“Not perfect? It’s not even close. I need to be spending every minute trying to fix this. Not playing superhero or cop!”

“Caitlin really, there’s no rush. If we do this we’ll be able to make it all make it work until we get back to normal,” Barry said.

“Stop saying that! I’m not in a rush. I just can’t take being in this body for another day. I constantly feel like I need to move and if I’m not ridiculously careful I’m suddenly accelerating past the speed of sound. My metabolism is insane! I have to eat everything around me and I’m never satisfied. And my hormones are a mess. I can’t look at either of you without-”

When Caitlin fell silent neither Barry nor Iris filled the space. Instead silence rang as her two friends looked at her. She could read a mixture of surprise and concern in their faces at her outburst. Which made her heart race even more and her cheeks flush red. Anxiety gripped her. She felt like someone had reached inside her chest and grasped her lungs, preventing them from expanding. She couldn’t breathe. She had to get out of there, get somewhere safe.

When Iris’s lips began to move, to try and help her friend, there was a strong gust of wind. There was a flash of light and then, where Caitlin had been sitting, there was just an empty space.

“Well that could have gone better,” she muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took a long time even by my standards. I wanted to thank anyone still interested in this story and who has been patiently waiting. I've unfortunately been stuck on this chapter for ages and it wasn't till just the other day that I suddenly had an idea for how to proceed. Hopefully it won't be nearly as long for the next chapter.

 

As he stood in the narrow hallway waiting, Barry shifted his weight from the balls of his feet to the heel. And then back again. Over and over, creating a soothing motion that allowed him to eat up some of the energy that wracked him. The muscles of his borrowed body ached and throbbed from the unfamiliar motion.

He’d much rather be facing Killer Shark yet again than standing in the small but well lit corridor. As he stood there another tenant walked up behind him. He tried to think of some excuse for his presence lurking in front of the door to Caitlin’s condo. But the little old lady simply smiled and gave off a short greeting before entering her own door and disappearing from sight.

Barry almost let out an anxious chuckle as his brain finally put two and two together. He was in Caitlin’s body. The neighbor had probably just assumed that Barry had been preparing to enter into ‘his’ condo. Which was a fair assumption all things concerned. But it wasn’t correct.

No, Barry wasn’t returning home after a long day. His long day was about to get longer and much more awkward if he was correct. When Caitlin had sped out of his home, after reacting with an unexpected intensity to Iris’s plan, Barry had been left alone with a shell shocked Iris.

The hurt had been obvious on her face. And it wasn’t really a surprise. Given how Iris felt about Caitlin, though she tried to downplay it whenever he’d mentioned it he knew her well enough to read the signs, the strong reaction must have been like a slap in the face. Iris was always at her most vulnerable when she was in ‘planning mode’. It had been like that since they were kids. Whenever someone close to her was hurting and she felt powerless Iris would take charge and try and fix the situation. If her plan worked she was pretty much vibrating with joy for several days after. If it didn’t, like the time he’d snapped at her after she’d tried to recreate a special event that he’d only done with his father, she was devastated. Back then she’d retreated to her room and found reasons not to emerge for almost a full day before Joe had forced her to come out.

These days she just put on a brave face and obsessed silently. When it was particularly bad she found another task to throw herself into. Tonight had been one of those times. She’d ended up channeling some of that anxiety into cleaning up the meal he’d made. She’d practically thrown him out of the kitchen when he’d tried to help.

Which left him with too much free time on his hands. As he’d sat there an inkling of an idea began to percolate. Honestly he probably should have thought of it right when the body swap occurred, but he hadn’t. His forgetfulness had stemmed in equal parts as a result of a stressful situation which thrust that particular set of logistical issues far from his mind, and the fact that he’d become accustomed to his own biology years before. And his time in the speed force had only heightened that sense of normalcy with his altered physiology.

But Caitlin hadn’t had the benefit of time to grow accustomed to the physiology of a speedster. And to top it all off she was having to learn to deal with the effects of testosterone coursing through her for the first time as well. While he wasn’t anything near an expert on biology, the way Caitlin was, he knew enough to realize just how powerful that particular hormone was. And the accelerated metabolism of a speedster meant she was besieged by a constant stream of it.

If he was right, then it was no wonder that Caitlin thought staying in his body would be torture. She probably thought that the feelings would never fade. His own experience suggested that long term it wouldn’t be that bad. He’d found that as he’d utilized and become accustomed to his speed the impact of the racing hormones had lessened. These days he merely had a comparatively increased libido, which honestly just brought him up to Iris’s level, and his refractory period was close to nonexistent. The days where he felt like he had returned to adolescence were thankfully fleeting.

So that was good news, though he wasn’t exactly sure of what a short term fix would be. Well he had one idea but it would require a lot of understanding from both Iris and Caitlin. They probably would go for it. If Caitlin was feeling as he had that first year, the go ahead would be too tempting to resist. And Iris would no doubt sympathize given her own high libido. So it wasn’t really the fix that worried him. It was the conversation itself. He figured the conversation would just be embarrassing for all of them. But they were adults and they’d just have to push through it.

Which was easier said then done. He’d tried laying the ground work with Iris, but it was hard to really say anything till he was sure. It was just idle speculation after all. He’d beaten around the bush, trying to imply without saying the words. He’d failed spectacularly. Iris had just given him a look and went back to cleaning. At least they hadn’t had another fight.

So Barry had taken his leave of his apartment. He’d given Iris a quick kiss and said he was going to try and talk to Caitlin. She’d muttered some response which said to him she really wasn’t processing anything he said.

The trip over was longer than he would have liked. Traveling at normal speeds was a harder adjustment than he’d like to admit. He hadn’t really accounted for the time it would take to travel to Caitlin’s when he decided on this course of action. He’d already left Iris to stew longer than he had planned. But hopefully the extra time had allowed Caitlin to cool down a little. It certainly gave him time to realize he still had no idea what to say.

It was that same trip that convinced him to finally raise his fist and knock. He wasn’t enduring that trip twice with nothing to show for it. The dull sound of flesh rapping on metal seemed deafening in the silent hallway. When the sound faded and the air around him was quiet again he found his impatience growing. And his anxiety. He was seconds away from knocking again, if only to burn some of the energy coursing through him. He was spared from being rude by the door swinging open. To an empty room.

The slight breeze and flash of light tells him what happened. Caitlin answered the door and upon seeing him had sped away. Still the door was open and she likely wouldn’t like her neighbors speculating on why ‘she’ walked away from her open apartment. So he takes it as an invitation and enters.

He steps across the threshold and into her apartment. He’s been over a few times and as always sees a lot of Caitlin in the furnishings. The color scheme is filled with soft pastels and fairly traditional furniture. He closes the door behind him and makes his way over to the blue cloth couch sitting across from her tv. He sits and waits. He knows he can’t catch her unless she wants him to.

He’s not sure how much time passes. It’s not long. He knew it wouldn’t be. Because however long it seems to him it’s an eternity for her. He remembers when he was first getting used to his speed. The way every minor anxiety caused his heart to race and his body to speed up. He has no doubt Caitlin is experiencing the same thing.

“Why are you here,” she calls out. He’s pretty sure her voice came from the bedroom. Hoping that means she’s planning to stay put now he stands up and walks over towards the closed door. He’ll say his piece and then go. It’s not like time will make things any better.

He’s too slow though. He doesn’t get even a word out before there’s another flash and burst of air. And he’s suddenly on the ground, the air leaving his lungs in a burst. She’d tried to run again, most likely past him but she hadn’t anticipated having to adjust for his position and had crashed directly into him. But none of that matters. Because his brain has finally processed something far more important.

She’s on top of him. Her lips are inches from his. Any little movement and he could feel them hot and ready against his own. He expects her to speed away, but she doesn’t. He’s not sure if he’s delighted or terrified that she hasn’t. His brain can’t process that right now. All that he can think about is how she feels pressed against him. She’s lean and hard. In more ways than one.

Her chest is pressed against his and he marvels at just how firm the muscles are. They’re pressing against the soft flesh of his tits and it’s sending small jolts of electricity through him, further rendering him unable to think about anything other than her. He wants her to kiss him so badly he can’t even care about the situation.

His need grows even more intense when his brain finally registers the delicious pressure against his core. Her cock is hard. So hard that he can feel it through both of their jeans. He wants to buck his hips, to cause it to move against him.

No that’s a lie. He wants so much more than that. He wants her lips against his. He wants her to kiss him and then draw away so he can stare at her swollen lips wanting more before she leans back in and sucks on his neck. He wants her hands to claw at him, freeing him of first his shirt and then his bra so that he can feel them roughly on his tits. And he wants that cock of hers inside him. He wants to be gasping and panting and screaming her name as pleasure surges inside him.

He wonders if that’s what he’s seeing in her eyes too. Does she want the same? He’s tempted to beg but his lips won’t work. Something is holding him back. He knows it’s not the swap. Or that he’s never before wanted a man. There’s a simple answer to that. Despite the situation it’s Caitlin. It’s her he is attracted to. The rest is just semantics.

No, what’s holding him back is what he hasn’t done. He hasn’t talked about it with Iris. Not really. They’d never followed up on their conversation from the other night. And yes the incredibly thirsty part of him insisted his wife would not mind in the least, and would be thrilled if something happened, the sane part of him doesn’t believe it. It’s not that he doubts Iris when she told him what she wants. It’s that it’s Caitlin and that makes it so much more complex. He knows Iris has a crush on their friend, repeated denials not withstanding. And Caitlin is Iris’s best friend. And they’d just had the closest thing to a fight they’d ever had. And Iris and he had been fighting a lot recently. Pretty much every time they were alone together there was eventually raised voices and hurt feelings. No regardless of how Iris would normally react to the current situation, and how she had reacted to a much less risqué situation before, in the current context she’d be hurt.

That rationale part of his brain was on a roll now and it didn’t let up. It reminded him that Iris wasn’t the only one who would be hurt if he gave into his urges. Despite what her eyes and body communicated Barry couldn’t trust that Caitlin would want what he did. She could easily just be overwhelmed by the hormones and the situation. Not that he didn’t respect her to make her own decisions. But he knew her too. And the idea that she’d done anything with a married man, who was one of her best friends and married to another of her best friends would likely upset her. Not to mention she wasn’t as comfortable with his anatomy as he was with hers. Would she really be okay having sex like that? And most importantly he knew that Caitlin hadn’t been with anyone since Ronnie. She’d confided as much one night recently. He knew she had come close with Julian, but they hadn’t quiet made it that far before she’d become Killer Frost full time and he’d left. He hadn’t had the courage to ask about Savitar, but that would have been Killer Frost anyway and he was pretty sure it wouldn’t count. If she’d been alone this long he doubted she wanted some quick fuck with a friend who was married and in love with someone else.

And this couldn’t be what he wanted either. A quick fuck and then a strained friendship wouldn’t satisfy him. He’d want more. He always did. Casual sex was never enough and he’d given up on one night stands years ago. No if he still felt this intense attraction to Caitlin it wasn’t just because he wanted her body. He wanted all of her. To see her smile when looking at him from across the room, to fall back into her embrace after a hard day. He wanted to know her thoughts and to know that he made her feel better at the end of the day. He’d want a relationship. Which wasn’t something he could have. He was married. He loves Iris.

He knows that rationale part is correct. This is the worst idea he’s ever had. Worse than Flashpoint even. But he can’t find it in himself to break the moment. His body is aching and screaming for her. He’s heard the term thirst before but he’s never appreciated just how apropos it is. His body years for her like it does water on a hot day. She’s consuming all his thoughts and even the incredibly sound logic that for years has quashed the feelings he clearly still has for her aren’t enough to lessen his need for her.

In the end the decision is taken from his hands. Caitlin is the first to act. She scrambles off of him, panic and fear staining her features. The sight tears at him. He wants to assure her it’s okay that everything is okay and well he’s not sure what else he would say. To reassure he wants her? Or maybe say nothing has to change between them? That Iris would only be enthused if they told her what had almost happened?

The hesitation costs him. There’s another flash and rush of wind and she’s gone. He’s alone in her apartment. The thought that he should try and follow her drifts across his mind. It slips away without any real attention being paid to it.

He can’t move. His entire body is flushed and thrumming with a need that he’s unable to describe. He’s pretty sure his nipples have hardened to sharp little points which are rubbing against the fabric covering hem when he moves. It’s delicious. But it’s not his biggest issue.

It’s a joke compared to the hot wet swamp that his crotch has become. He’s soaked through the borrowed panties he’s wearing and the wet material is clinging uncomfortably to his skin. He knows if he slides his hand down past the band of the jeans and under the cotton of the panties he’ll find the flesh there slick and sensitive. He wants to, to feel those sensations consume him as he thinks of what had almost happened. But he can’t. Caitlin would never forgive him. But despite that he still wants to slide fingers over his clit and inside himself until he erupts.

He’s vaguely aware that his desires should bother him more. Or at the very least seem odd in a way that he should have difficulty communicating. But it’s not. While he hasn’t hated his old body in many years, he can’t deny that his current form feels comfortable as well. He’d think it was just a side effect of the switch but Caitlin’s reactions suggest that’s not the case.

Caitlin is certainly having more trouble adjusting. She seems immensely uncomfortable with her new body and the different anatomy she’s presented. And he’s willing to bet that Caitlin’s reaction is the more normal, as Iris has commiserated that it must be a difficult transition for both of them.

So he’s pretty sure it’s just him. The changes to his anatomy don’t bother him. They don’t cause him any stress really. The notion that he has a pussy and it’s wet and aching from having Caitlin lying on top of him doesn’t send any anxiety coursing through him.

He’s even fine wondering how it would feel to have her buried inside him. No, that’s a lie. He’s more than fine with it. He wants it. Badly. He wants her lips on his, her body covering his and her shaft piercing his body. He wants to watch and feel as she thrusts into him. He wants her. Just as he always has. Ever since they’d drawn closer years ago, before they’d realized Ronnie was alive and he’d thought he had a chance with Iris, he’s wanted Caitlin. For a time he thought that was were things were heading. But the moment passed and he moved on. Accepted that friendship was all he’d ever have. And he’s been okay with that. Caitlin’s amazing and the same things that made him long for more made him more than happy to be her friend. It had been similar to the situation with Iris, only nothing had occurred that made him think their context was changing or could change. And he’d gotten his dream girl so he was fine with that. So his feelings for Caitlin had dimmed and he thought them gone.

Until now. Now the feelings are back and his wants are rising and he can’t help it. Something has fundamentally changed and somehow he feels free to want. He’s not sure what makes him feel this way. But it’s clear to him that the feelings never faded. He must have just repressed them and now that he’s no longer subconsciously tamping down his attraction to his friend it’s hot and raw.

It’s a puzzle for another time. Most likely with his therapist. And with Iris. She’s more than his wife after all. She’s his best and longest friend. As corny as it sounds she often knows him better than anyone and even better than he knows himself. The same way he knows her.

Thinking of Iris makes him think of how long he’s been gone. And that he’s lying alone on the wooden floor of Caitlin’s house. His body is finally starting to relax and he’s almost feeling capable of moving.

The knowledge that he’s probably only made things worse is what finally causes his libido back under control. He forces himself up and decides that he’s going to make sure he doesn’t look like he’s just been lying on the floor desperate for one of his best friends to fuck him before heading back home. So he makes his way to Caitlin’s bathroom.

His eyes study his image in the mirror. It’s a little strange seeing Caitlin’s face staring back. He suspects that’s only because he’s used to his own and that in time that will fade. He’s already less surprised seeing his current features now than he was at first.

Wary of wasting more time he takes stock of his appearance. His hair is a bit of a mess and he takes the steps necessary to fix it into something manageable.

Thankfully that and some rumples in his clothes are all he needs to deal with. He tends to go without makeup. Not because of any deep seated aversion, but because he lacks the skill and experience to properly apply it. Each time he’s tried he ends up looking like some 80s comedy version of a prostitute. It’s just not worth the hassle most days.

Truthfully he’d like to wear it. He feels plain and is well aware that he now has the freedom to change that. If only he knew how. He’s been trying to find the time to ask Iris how to do so, but she’s been so busy recently. Her work at the paper consumed much of her time.

If he was being honest though it wasn’t just that. Things have been stressful for both of them. And he knows it’s hard on her when he’s miserable. Which means they fight more than normal. But it’s not like he can turn off his feelings. Of course he’s depressed. He’s been stuck at home or pacing Star Labs, unable to work or do anything useful while Caitlin works to find a solution. He feels helpless. A feeling that has too many associations with the worst parts of his life for him to be able to weather it easily. So they fight.

Making his sense of hopelessness worse is that he’s not even free to feel fully. The first time he’d given himself over to the emotions running through him he’d lost time. He’d awoken hours later and found a note addressed to Caitlin checking on her. It had felt intrusive but he was also terrified so he’d read it. He’d realized what had happened. Killer Frost had manifested. It was terrifying. Though it grew less so each time he’s slipped and it’s happened. He’s thankfully managed to keep it concealed. He’s not exactly sure why Frost has gone along with his request to keep his slips silent.

After the first time when he’d found Frost’s note he’d written a note for her just in case explaining everything that had happened. She’d written back a single word, “Whatever”. He’d been unusually disappointed by that. However, the next time she’d had control he’d found a longer note. Explaining the current deal she had with Caitlin and what she expected from him. Which included the nights she expected to be in charge. And that she expected him to figure out how to make that happen.

Truthfully he was glad for the demand. It gave him something to work on. A purpose beyond loitering in his apartment or the science lab the man who was his greatest adversary and his mentor combined had left to him. He’d thrown himself into the task. He’d spent hour after hour testing different stimuli and thoughts to see what actually worked and what didn’t. While he still wasn’t sure how to trigger the transformation reliably yet, he was getting close. At first he thought it was just anxiety, as that had been Caitlin’s trigger before DeVoe had leeched the dark matter from her system. But it seemed to require more than that now. His pet theory was that the dark matter in her adrenal system had served as a catalyst for the switch. Absent its presence he found that anxiety was ineffective on its own. It was certainly a part of the process but he was starting to form a theory that the change wasn’t a result of the of chemicals that were released when he felt anxiety. He was pretty sure it had something to do with wanting Killer Frost to emerge and her wanting to as well. While he had no memory of Frost’s actions and she none of his, he suspected they were linked on a subconscious level. They’ve been able to switch back and forth more frequently but it’s not quite to the point he wants yet. Though it hasn’t all been a waste.

The frequent switches have lead to a development that has helped keep him sane. With each switch they trade letters. Sometimes they’re jokes and sometimes it’s more. He’s been opening up to her steadily. As a result their relationship was improving. She’d always kept a careful distance from him. And he was always guarded, not wanting to remind her of the pain she’d suffered when she’d sided with Savitar.

But they had pushed past that and he quickly found he was admitting things he couldn’t say to Iris at the moment. He’d admitted his concerns with his appearance, that he wanted to stand out and look more him. That all he knew to do was mimic Caitlin’s style but it didn’t quite work for him. He actually owed Frost for his current hairstyle, which he loved. It had been her idea and she’d included detailed instructions on how to replicate it in a letter. He’s been wearing it ever since. 

As surprising as it is, he’s actually thankful for the other personality lurking inside his body. Over just a few days she’s become a friend and confident, if a somewhat snarky one. It’s helped to have someone to discuss the changes he’s noticed in his appearance and behaviors, though the discussions take the form of letters they each leave as they practice switching back and forth.

She’s also been a great sounding board for some of the realizations he’s been having. The aspects of the situation that had been the hardest for him to adjust to, besides losing his speed and the ability to help others, are less obvious. They stem from his interactions with others and their clear expectations of how he should behave. The way people treat him is different. Gazes linger on him longer. Strangers assume he needs help. His appearance is dissected and judgments made based on nothing other than that. Several time’s he’s been called slurs for not having on makeup.

But it’s more than just that. Outside of their small group he’s expected to act a certain way. And if all of that seemed daunting or foreign it would be easier for him to accept. But it isn’t. He’s dropped into the new role fairly easily. He accepts the help graciously. Smiles and is more forward with his emotions. At first he had rationalized it as just implementing behaviors he’s seen his friend do. But the truth is he’s not mimicking Caitlin. He’s still being himself.

It’s just easier to allow certain facets of himself out now that he’s expected to demonstrate them. Mannerisms he’s always had to hold back are coming to the front. It’s making it clear to him that he’s never really fit as he was. That he always had to put on an act. Well with everyone other than Iris. It’s not that he doesn’t think Cisco or Caitlin or even Joe won’t accept him as he really is. It’s not that conscious. He just has known for years not to act that way and he’s taken the path of least resistance. Even his love of cooking for his wife and taking care of other domestic chores isn’t something he shares regularly.

But in Caitlin’s body the expectations are reversed. He’s expected to pick up the groceries by strangers. The fact that his brain is always thinking of new recipes is now normal. He’s free to allow his emotions into his face and to drop some of his more ‘manly’ affectations. Though it hasn’t gone completely unnoticed.

Iris has commented a few times, generally with a wistful smile as she remembers back when they were younger and he did similar things. Before he’d learned he needed to be more manly.

He’s not sure how he feels about all of it. Killer Frost thinks most of it is stupid, but it’s still helpful having her as a sounding board. If he could get his speed back and Iris and Caitlin were fine with it, he almost thinks he could be happy staying like this.

With his appearance fixed he returns to the living room. The clock on the wall reminds him of the hour and while he’s pretty sure he can summon Frost if anything were to happen he’d rather take a car. He pulls out his phone and his thumb quickly strikes the lyft icon. He settles into back into the couch as he waits for the driver to arrive. He hopes Iris is doing better than he is.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1-4 (old chapter 1) Revisions:  
> -Body swap happened as a result of Ralph screwing around with DeVoe's chair after final battle.  
> -Reference is made to the fact that Caitlin is currently blocked from accessing Killer Frost. Barry is not affected though.
> 
> Chapter 5 Revisions:  
> -References to swap reference it was a result of accident with the chair and not a fight.  
> -Iris's reflection on Barry's job status references his forced leave of absence. 
> 
> Chapter 6 Revisions:  
> -References added to Caitlin no longer being able to swap with Killer Frost.


End file.
